Ranting Mr P!

CCK should extend fair play regulations to internet access

2010-06-05T01:45:00.000-07:00

The Communications Commission of Kenya – CCK – recently drew ire and cheers in almost equal measure when it enacted fair-play regulations within the communications sector. For companies that perceive themselves as targets of the measures, this came across as an unfair act singling them out for their success. But for those who are more concerned about consumer-end issues, the measures are welcome, and might even not go far enough. This group ranges from wild-eyed price-control freaks to consumer advocates. And they do have a point: as far as internet connection charges are concerned, CCK is sleeping on the job.

The excitement that accompanied the landing of fibre optic cables at Mombasa over the last one year has swiftly been replaced by disappointment and even anger as internet costs have remained stubbornly high. There have been various excuses advanced for this: CCK Director-General Charles Njoroge incredibly stated that he “hoped the sector would be self-regulating”.

The naivety of this approach is seen in the failure of the sector to innovate and drop access prices. It does not help that the TEAMS cable, which is owned by the Kenya government in consortium with various telecoms companies in the country, is the one best placed to force prices down. But with those companies having invested millions of dollars in the construction of the cable, it is nonsensical to expect that some sort of altruism will suddenly infuse them to the extent that they reduce prices to match what the market is asking for.

A collusion of sorts therefore exists across the sector insofar as internet charges are concerned – there appears to be an unspoken agreement by the telecom majors to keep prices at their current levels, a state of affairs that is clearly hampering increased internet access across many other sectors in the economy.

CCK’s recent fair-play regulations have the marketplace in mind, but it would not take much to tweak them to view the consumer with a little more consideration. Taken together, the current owners of the fiber optic cables are clearly a market-dominant entity, and should those regulations be brought to bear on that sector of telecoms, the consortium of telecom operators would be made to quit their overt collusion and introduce some real competition in internet service provision, failing which the ugly alternative – outright price controls – might look more and more attractive.

Another week dies - in Riyadh

2010-02-17T09:16:00.000-08:00

The Saudi work week lasts from Saturday to Wednesday, with Thursday and Friday making up the weekend. Given the strictures of daily life in Saudi Arabia, one can well imagine the rush to get over to Bahrain on Wednesday evenings - and the resultant traffic hazards. Still, Wednesdays are a welcome relief from the relentless barrage of bullshit that one runs into in this country - you get to forget, for 2 days, that you are in one of the world's most socially conservative countries, and you might even be among the ones lucky enough to have a weekend visit from a Filipino nurse. The gender of the nurse is best left unmentioned. Let your imagination run wild.

And what's that Shimita and Soukous Stars are doing on Nairobi Nights, 11:10? Magic! Makes my Wednesday evening - even if it could be better!

What WORKS on a Toyota?

2010-02-12T21:44:00.000-08:00

Early November 2009: Toyota recalls a bunch of models due to a "heavy floormat" problem: in English, heavy rubber mats were sliding forward and jamming accelerator pedals.

Late November 2009: Floormat recall extended as it becomes clear that Toyota brake overrides are becoming problematic. Over 4M vehicles affected.

January 2010: Faulty accelerator pedals compel Toyota to announce an even wider recall.

February 2010: Prius' brake problems force another mass recall - 500,000 vehicles.

February 2010: Mass recall of Camry models due to brake tube problems.
February 2010: Toyota Tacoma pickups recalled due to faulty drive-shafts.

So what's next - a recall of all Toyotas ever made, due maybe to "not being motor vehicles at all"?

Smile...

2010-02-12T21:14:00.000-08:00

Three Men on a Hike*

Three men were hiking through a forest when they came upon a large
raging, Violent river. Needing to get to the other side, the first man
prayed:

' God, please give me the strength to cross the river. '

Poof! . God gave him big arms and strong legs and he was able to swim
across in about 2 hours, having almost drowned twice.

After witnessing that, the second man prayed: ' God, please give me
strength and the tools to cross the river '

Poof! .. God gave him a rowboat and strong arms and strong legs and he
was able to row across in about an hour after almost capsizing once.

Seeing what happened to the first two men, the third man prayed: ' God,
please give me the strength, the tools and the intelligence to cross the
river '

Poof! . He was turned into a woman. She checked the map, hiked one
hundred yards up stream and walked across the bridge.

Summer Over...

2009-10-21T23:42:00.000-07:00

The temperature madness is over in Riyadh...makes you want to twist and shout...

Riyadh's Temperature Tales

2009-05-29T12:36:00.000-07:00

Temperatures are going nuts here, even by Riyadh's hellish standards. Temperature readings are displayed all over the city (there is a law that when it hits 50⁰ celcius, all outside work must stop). This was May 29th, 2009!

Jeddah: Beauty and Beastliness

2009-05-17T07:15:00.000-07:00

...side by side. The town, the city centre of Jeddah, is lovely, if a little crowded: it reminds one of Mombasa's Old Town.

The roads are just as narrow (compared to the wide lanes filled with large American cars moving at frightening speeds, in Riyadh), but the cars are not quite as large: you dont see so many GMCs or Fords as you do in Riyadh. Perhaps it is the age of the town and the nature of those settled here: Jeddah is an old trading port, and the kaleidoscope of faces one sees in the streets is testimony to the city's age and its cosmopolitan nature.

Unlike Riyadh, too, it has had the time to mature, and the social sediments are clearly visible in Jeddah's neighbourhoods, from the wealthy suburbs up North to the slums south of the city, closer to the port.

There is an unhurried elegance about doing things, perhaps a consequence (and characteristic?) of being a seaside town: at the airport, there is only one check-in clerk serving hundreds of harassed passengers. His attitude to queues is interesting: if your flight is nearly due, you move to the front of the queue!

There is also lots of poverty in Jeddah. To the South of the town, paperless immigrants - mainly from Somalia, Sudan and Yemen - perster everyone for alms. In a society with a notorious affinity for officialdom and the attendant need for papers of all sorts, they are invisible to the government, if not quite non-existent. They sleep under the enormous road interchanges or in rundown buildings, and defecate on the pavements at night: you will see the unwelcome results of such an existence should you drive past these places early in the morning, before the municipal council trucks arrive to clean up the mess.

But there is little doubt that one is in Saudi Arabia: examples of centrally-planned extravagance abound, from the Jeddah Fountain - a gigantic articifial geyser in the sea, just off the coast - to the Jeddah Corniche, a lovely stretch of beach where people mingle freely and lovers even have the temerity to hold hands and share a meal in public - in Saudi Arabia!

While prayer times are generally observed, there isn't the stultifying compulsion to close businesses when the Muezzin calls, as one finds in Riyadh: I wandered into a restaurant on the Corniche at prayer time, and no one seemed to care. It remained open throughout the prayer.

The beaches are absolutely astonishing: mile after mile of pristine public sand where anyone can go anytime. None of the "this is a private beach" notices one runs into all over the "free" world: here, the beach belongs to everyone. Sure, they get dirty in the evenings, when everyone comes over for a drink and a meal, but who cares when vistas like these are the reward?

I love Jeddah!

The Evolution of a Programmer!

2009-04-29T03:26:00.000-07:00

From the folks at Ariel, by way of Stumbleupon:

First year in College

  program Hello(input, output)
   begin
     writeln('Hello World')
   end.

Senior year in College

  (defun hello
   (print
     (cons 'Hello (list 'World))))

New professional

  #include <stdio.h>
 void main(void)
 {
   char *message[] = {"Hello ", "World"};
   int i;

   for(i = 0; i < 2; ++i)
     printf("%s", message[i]);
   printf("\n");
 }

Seasoned professional

  #include <iostream.h>
 #include <string.h>

 class string
 {
 private:
   int size;
   char *ptr;

 string() : size(0), ptr(new char[1]) { ptr[0] = 0; }

   string(const string &s) : size(s.size)
   {
     ptr = new char[size + 1];
     strcpy(ptr, s.ptr);
   }

   ~string()
   {
     delete [] ptr;
   }

   friend ostream &operator <<(ostream &, const string &);
   string &operator=(const char *);
 };

 ostream &operator<<(ostream &stream, const string &s)
 {
   return(stream << s.ptr);
 }

 string &string::operator=(const char *chrs)
 {
   if (this != &chrs)
   {
     delete [] ptr;
    size = strlen(chrs);
     ptr = new char[size + 1];
     strcpy(ptr, chrs);
   }
   return(*this);
 }

 int main()
 {
   string str;

   str = "Hello World";
   cout << str << endl;

   return(0);
 }

Master Programmer

  [
 uuid(2573F8F4-CFEE-101A-9A9F-00AA00342820)
 ]
 library LHello
 {
     // bring in the master library
     importlib("actimp.tlb");
     importlib("actexp.tlb");

     // bring in my interfaces
     #include "pshlo.idl"

     [
     uuid(2573F8F5-CFEE-101A-9A9F-00AA00342820)
     ]
     cotype THello
  {
  interface IHello;
  interface IPersistFile;
  };
 };

 [
 exe,
 uuid(2573F890-CFEE-101A-9A9F-00AA00342820)
 ]
 module CHelloLib
 {

     // some code related header files
     importheader(<windows.h>);
     importheader(<ole2.h>);
     importheader(<except.hxx>);
     importheader("pshlo.h");
     importheader("shlo.hxx");
     importheader("mycls.hxx");

     // needed typelibs
     importlib("actimp.tlb");
     importlib("actexp.tlb");
     importlib("thlo.tlb");

     [
     uuid(2573F891-CFEE-101A-9A9F-00AA00342820),
     aggregatable
     ]
     coclass CHello
  {
  cotype THello;
  };
 };


 #include "ipfix.hxx"

 extern HANDLE hEvent;

 class CHello : public CHelloBase
 {
 public:
     IPFIX(CLSID_CHello);

     CHello(IUnknown *pUnk);
     ~CHello();

     HRESULT  __stdcall PrintSz(LPWSTR pwszString);

 private:
     static int cObjRef;
 };


 #include <windows.h>
 #include <ole2.h>
 #include <stdio.h>
 #include <stdlib.h>
 #include "thlo.h"
 #include "pshlo.h"
 #include "shlo.hxx"
 #include "mycls.hxx"

 int CHello::cObjRef = 0;

 CHello::CHello(IUnknown *pUnk) : CHelloBase(pUnk)
 {
     cObjRef++;
     return;
 }

 HRESULT  __stdcall  CHello::PrintSz(LPWSTR pwszString)
 {
     printf("%ws
", pwszString);
     return(ResultFromScode(S_OK));
 }


 CHello::~CHello(void)
 {

 // when the object count goes to zero, stop the server
 cObjRef--;
 if( cObjRef == 0 )
     PulseEvent(hEvent);

 return;
 }

 #include <windows.h>
 #include <ole2.h>
 #include "pshlo.h"
 #include "shlo.hxx"
 #include "mycls.hxx"

 HANDLE hEvent;

  int _cdecl main(
 int argc,
 char * argv[]
 ) {
 ULONG ulRef;
 DWORD dwRegistration;
 CHelloCF *pCF = new CHelloCF();

 hEvent = CreateEvent(NULL, FALSE, FALSE, NULL);

 // Initialize the OLE libraries
 CoInitializeEx(NULL, COINIT_MULTITHREADED);

 CoRegisterClassObject(CLSID_CHello, pCF, CLSCTX_LOCAL_SERVER,
     REGCLS_MULTIPLEUSE, &dwRegistration);

 // wait on an event to stop
 WaitForSingleObject(hEvent, INFINITE);

 // revoke and release the class object
 CoRevokeClassObject(dwRegistration);
 ulRef = pCF->Release();

 // Tell OLE we are going away.
 CoUninitialize();

 return(0); }

 extern CLSID CLSID_CHello;
 extern UUID LIBID_CHelloLib;

 CLSID CLSID_CHello = { /* 2573F891-CFEE-101A-9A9F-00AA00342820 */
     0x2573F891,
     0xCFEE,
     0x101A,
     { 0x9A, 0x9F, 0x00, 0xAA, 0x00, 0x34, 0x28, 0x20 }
 };

 UUID LIBID_CHelloLib = { /* 2573F890-CFEE-101A-9A9F-00AA00342820 */
     0x2573F890,
     0xCFEE,
     0x101A,
     { 0x9A, 0x9F, 0x00, 0xAA, 0x00, 0x34, 0x28, 0x20 }
 };

 #include <windows.h>
 #include <ole2.h>
 #include <stdlib.h>
 #include <string.h>
 #include <stdio.h>
 #include "pshlo.h"
 #include "shlo.hxx"
 #include "clsid.h"

 int _cdecl main(
 int argc,
 char * argv[]
 ) {
 HRESULT  hRslt;
 IHello        *pHello;
 ULONG  ulCnt;
 IMoniker * pmk;
 WCHAR  wcsT[_MAX_PATH];
 WCHAR  wcsPath[2 * _MAX_PATH];

 // get object path
 wcsPath[0] = '\0';
 wcsT[0] = '\0';
 if( argc > 1) {
     mbstowcs(wcsPath, argv[1], strlen(argv[1]) + 1);
     wcsupr(wcsPath);
     }
 else {
     fprintf(stderr, "Object path must be specified\n");
     return(1);
     }

 // get print string
 if(argc > 2)
     mbstowcs(wcsT, argv[2], strlen(argv[2]) + 1);
 else
     wcscpy(wcsT, L"Hello World");

 printf("Linking to object %ws\n", wcsPath);
 printf("Text String %ws\n", wcsT);

 // Initialize the OLE libraries
 hRslt = CoInitializeEx(NULL, COINIT_MULTITHREADED);

 if(SUCCEEDED(hRslt)) {


     hRslt = CreateFileMoniker(wcsPath, &pmk);
     if(SUCCEEDED(hRslt))
  hRslt = BindMoniker(pmk, 0, IID_IHello, (void **)&pHello);

     if(SUCCEEDED(hRslt)) {

  // print a string out
  pHello->PrintSz(wcsT);

  Sleep(2000);
  ulCnt = pHello->Release();
  }
     else
  printf("Failure to connect, status: %lx", hRslt);

     // Tell OLE we are going away.
     CoUninitialize();
     }

 return(0);
 }

Apprentice Hacker

  #!/usr/local/bin/perl
 $msg="Hello, world.\n";
 if ($#ARGV >= 0) {
   while(defined($arg=shift(@ARGV))) {
     $outfilename = $arg;
     open(FILE, ">" . $outfilename) || die "Can't write $arg: $!\n";
     print (FILE $msg);
     close(FILE) || die "Can't close $arg: $!\n";
   }
 } else {
   print ($msg);
 }
 1;

Experienced Hacker

  #include <stdio.h>
 #define S "Hello, World\n"
 main(){exit(printf(S) == strlen(S) ? 0 : 1);}

Seasoned Hacker

  % cc -o a.out ~/src/misc/hw/hw.c
 % a.out

Guru Hacker

  % echo "Hello, world."

New Manager

  10 PRINT "HELLO WORLD"
 20 END

Middle Manager

  mail -s "Hello, world." bob@b12
 Bob, could you please write me a program that prints "Hello, world."?
 I need it by tomorrow.
 ^D

Senior Manager

  % zmail jim
 I need a "Hello, world." program by this afternoon.

Chief Executive

  % letter
 letter: Command not found.
 % mail
 To: ^X ^F ^C
 % help mail
 help: Command not found.
 % damn!
 !: Event unrecognized
 % logout

God wears number 11

2009-04-28T06:54:00.000-07:00

...and lives at Old Trafford!

And the honours:

Manchester United

Premier League (10): 1992–93, 1993–94, 1995–96, 1996–97, 1998–99, 1999–2000, 2000–01, 2002–03, 2006–07, 2007–08

FA Community Shield (7): 1993, 1994, 1996, 1997, 2003, 2007, 2008

FA Cup (4): 1993–94, 1995–96, 1998–99, 2003–04

Football League Cup (3): 1991–92, 2005–06, 2008–09

UEFA Champions League (2): 1998–99, 2007–08

UEFA Super Cup (1): 1991

Intercontinental Cup (1): 1999

FIFA Club World Cup (1): 2008

Individual

PFA Player of the Year: 2009

PFA Young Player of the Year: 1992, 1993

Bravo Award: 1993

BBC Wales Sports Personality of the Year: 1996

Sir Matt Busby Player of the Year Award: 1997–98

Intercontinental Cup Man of the Match: 1999

Premier League Team of the Decade: 2003

English Football Hall of Fame: 2005

Wales Player of the Year Award: 1996, 2006

FA Premier League Player of the Month: September 1993, August 2006, February 2007

PFA Team Of The Century: 2007

PFA Team of the Year: 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 1998, 2001, 2007, 2009

Only Manchester United player to have played in all ten Premier League-winning teams and only player to win 10 league titles

Only Manchester United player to have played in all three League Cup-winning teams

Only player to have scored in eleven consecutive Champions League tournaments

Only player to have scored in thirteen different Champions League tournaments

Only player to have scored in every Premier League campaign since its inception

Orders and special awards

OBE for services to football.

Awarded an honorary Master of Arts degree from Salford University on 15 July 2008 for contributions to football and charity work in developing countries.

Cairo!!

2009-04-07T11:19:00.000-07:00

The plane banks steeply, and the river Nile comes into full view from my little pothole of a window. It is a massive plane – there is an upstairs cabin, and I was unlucky not to go up there. I wanted to go upstairs and perhaps see the world – at least that in a modern airliner – from a slightly different perspective to that I am used to.
The picture below is an interesting and contrasting one: there are signs of a Marxist, command-and-control planning system – perhaps a left over from the days of Gamal Abdel Nasser and his dalliance with the Soviets back in the 1960s, after the West stymied him over the Aswan Dam in the wake of Suez – as well as indications of a modern, free-market city. The uniform, soviet-style flats contrast sharply with the modern skyscrapers that reach for the sky and proclaim that this is a modern reincarnation of Cairo, that most ancient and significant of African settlements.
As we descent into Cairo, relief floods into the plane – the ride from Riyadh has been a slightly harrowing one. Riyadh has recently been buffeted by alternating rain and dust storms, and the corollary of these is a generally bumpy flight, made all the worse by the lady in the seat in front of me – or rather, her very audible fear of flying.
I first noticed her at take-off. As the plane’s wheels left the ground and the familiar, giddy pit-of-the-stomach feeling went all around, she screamed. And then she screamed again. I could see that everyone in the plane was taken aback at that: while extreme reactions to flight are common, a cabin-renting scream from an adult is not your usual expression of air-sickness.
It turned out to be a serious fear: every time we hit turbulence or the plane descended too swiftly, she would let out a piercing, agonising wail. Anger at her behaviour turned first to pity, then to sympathy. I imagined what she must be going through, and thought she must be really brave to fly despite all that fear. And so when we land in Cairo, I am relieved for myself as much as for her. For both of us, the ordeal is over.
Cairo International Airport is a surprise – and is not a surprise. For an African used to colonial infrastructural left-overs, the airport is home territory. It is designed around a huge, circular centre, and the yellow neon signs that point out the various departments and desks are old and falling apart. As we enter the airport building, I am surprised to see the sheer number of police and security personnel: they are everywhere. There is a pervasive sense of being watched, of being under the eye of something, someone, everywhere. The policemen are nice and indulgent, however, and some of them lean against the airport walls, smoking out of sheer boredom. Everyone says hello, and a proffered “Salaam Aleikum” is responded to with enthusiasm. It feels just like Riyadh, in that sense.
The airport has lots of disused facilities on the inside: padlocked doors line the corridors, all painted a drab grey. This is not Dubai or Qatar, evidently: the emphasis here is very much on a lack of emphasis on anything, on a nondescript presence, on a vagueness of being. Egypt might be a regional powerhouse, but they do their best to make this fact unnoticeable.
And the airport staff are underpaid and openly corrupt. Mohammed, the guy at the transit waiting area, affects a bored glance at my papers. “Wen visa, Sheikh?” he asks me, without even looking at my papers – which declare that I do not need the transit visa he is asking about. He smiles and points to a seat next to him – there is no one else around, just me. I take the seat, and the monumental task that has long puzzled cryptographers and linguists alike immediately makes itself felt: how to communicate effectively without extensive knowledge, on both sides, of a common language?
But we somehow get by – and along. I quickly gather that Mohammed is a fan of Zamalek, does not like the idea of Gamal Mubarak taking over from his father, Hosni, as president, and is underpaid p0 earning a mere US$ 200 a month working as an airport desk attendant. “I hear Riyadh is better”, he says wistfully. I have no reply.
A few minutes into our conversation, a suave young dude in a suit and gelled hair drops by. He speaks excellent English – and lets me know that a bus driver is on the way to pick me up and deliver me to the Egypt Air terminal, where my connecting flight awaits. Sure enough, within a few minutes, Kamal drops by and grabs one of my bags. Shortly, we are on the bus – just me and Kamal – and headed for Terminal One.
Which is VERY far away from the arrivals terminal! On the bus, Kamal informs me that he has a few daughters, and cannot find husbands for them. That times are hard in Egypt. Can I spare him a few Riyals?
I can. Mogy has sent me some airtime, so I can afford the odd Riyal – I pass him a small tip, and he appreciates. But what really captures my attention is the wastage around the airport. Broken-down buses and general mechanical carnage litters the airport. This is Africa! It is like a ministry compound somewhere anywhere between Lagos and Nairobi: the same wastefulness, the same little regard for assets, the same don’t-care attitude. It never falls very far from the tree, does it?
Terminal One is a relaxed affair. There is a noisy group of Nigerians waiting for a Kano flight, and one is indignant. “Ich liebe in Vienna”he shouts to no one in particular. Who gives a rat’s? In a breeze, I am through the formalities, and am seated at this table, writing this rant. A cop watches over everyone all the time, moving a few paces left and right but generally staying put. Who wants to mess with Egypt?
In the lounge, the same uneasy modern/ancient juxtaposition assails you. There are half-hearted souvenir shops selling Nefertiri heads and fake Anubis statues. One man urges me to buy a King Tut statuette for my kid. When I ask him about the Curse of King Tut, he looks at me blankly. That’s Egypt for you...
There are lots of Asian tourists – mainly Chinese and Japs – around the terminal. This is their first experience of Africa, likely. A lady from Egypt’s Ministry of Tourism ambles by, and asks me if I am interested in filling out a survey about her country. I decline, and she waddles off, disappointed. I turn to my cappuccino and take a long, hard sip. Just a few hours more to home!

Big Up Kubwa - Wahu's Sweet Love is rather Special...

2009-02-19T08:32:00.000-08:00

Yeah, you guessed it - niko homesick. Enjoy...

Fog of the season's end?

2009-02-10T20:39:00.000-08:00

The Riyadh winter was behaving rather well - temperatures were up to 22 celcius. Then a deluge, a few days ago. And now a freezing fog this morning. Weird.

Ballards from home...emily chepchumba!

2009-02-05T04:15:00.000-08:00

Beat this, MJ! Phillip Yegon, my man - way to go...

Still in Campaign Mode?

2009-01-19T05:50:00.000-08:00

Sounds like, to me...

Do you hate exercise?

2009-01-12T05:57:00.000-08:00

You are in good company. Now, let me go pretend to work out. You too. See, it is all about GOALS. You can get through life fine without them. You can ignore them and not have to come up with excuses. But the people that get things done in this world, they have goals. Don't just sit there - go run or something.

Travel Notes (2): Loathing KQ (Some More)

2009-01-07T15:06:00.000-08:00

However bad the service one receives, it seems, there is always a lower depth that service provider can plumb - consider yourself lucky that you receive service that is only that bad. It could be worse - you could be travelling Kenya Airways. Yap - we've been down that air-route before. And here we go again.

You have finished posting a few musings about the strange, lovely foreign airport you are at. Next up: connecting flight, Kenya Airways, home beckons. But not too fast!

At the connecting-flights counter, although it is clearly time to check in for your flight home, there is no one at the Kenya Airways counter. In fact, there is no KQ counter. You see, since this sophisticated Dubai, the counter-boards are all electronic and stuff.

They switch on when the check-in staff show up to process you.

And since no one from KQ has shown up, the

counter is non-existent.

So you wait.

An hour later, there is finally an announcement: you can begin checking in. Phew!

But KQ are not done with you yet. No, not yet.

All checked in, you slide over to the gate where you are to board. The plane should be ready for boarding in a few minutes, dear passengers, and we apologize for the delay - this is what you think you will hear. Well, think again. Turns out the dude doing the check-ins is the the same fella supposed to handle the actul boarding business. Plus, anyhow, the plane is not here yet. There was a delay in Nairobi, you see. So you wait.

And nothing happens. All around you are signs of the toll that the waiting exacts on KQ's passengers: the lounge is overcrowded and there is standing room only. It is late at night (or early morning, depending!), and bodies are sleepy. One man - clearly Central African - dozes off angrily. Another snores shabbily. A really short guy next to you - must be a Hutu - tries to strike up conversation. You give him a murderous look and he flees into a corner. You wish you had murdered him.

You still wait.

Finally, 4 hours behind schedule, the KQ plane does show up. It is hurriedly prepared, and you are ushered aboard. Plastic smiles among the cabin crew - their name tags don't list last names - only serve make you angrier. And what's with all the West Africans? Isn't there a decent carrier that plies the Dubai-West Africa route, anywhere? Where is Nigerian Airways?

Aboard, there is evidence of shoddy preparations everywhere. The inflight magazines are two months old. They - and the inflight manuals - are in various states of disintegration,

some torn from top right near to the bottom,

others dog-eared and clearly carrying some form of harmful bacteria - others just look sorry.

The bags in which they are stuffed are dirty and are falling off the backs of the seats to which they are attached.

Rubbish litters the aisle. And your seat does not recline - no matter what you do.

Finally, you get airborne. The captain makes a few half-hearted announcements, which you try hard to ignore. You eat the offered fish meal without even tasting it. An hour into the flight, you amble over to the toilet - only to realize that that particular loo is out of service. The door is taped over with the stern warning "OUT OF ORDER!!" in blue felt pen. They must issue blue felt pens at KQ. Has to be part of the pre-flight checks. Captain to First Officer: "Check and cross-arm. Blue Felt Pen confirmed present?"

In fact, the only saving grace appears to be Senior Flight Attendant Felix Kibet - who is unfailingly polite, efficient and professional. He even vibes you in Sheng. You feel at home instantly - thanks to him. He even agrees to give the annoying Pakistani guy on the next row two servings of the fish meal - with a quiet "acha ajienjoy". Thanks, Felix. You keep it up, bro.

And so, eventually, KQ delivers you home. You get swept up in the celebrations that greet your arrival. Cousins are hanging around - they must be broke. Everyone is feeling good - it is December, after all. You don't realise that, just a few weeks on, KQ will screw up your ticket postponement, nearly making you miss the flight.

Welcome home - and forgive KQ, if you can. And bro Felix, unless they make you MD, that airline is going down. Fast.

Travel Notes

2008-12-23T12:08:00.000-08:00

Take that airport announcer seriously. You will miss the flight. Get out of the coffee shop - your finances cant support you for long if you sit in the coffee parlour anyway. The prices are atrocious - they give mango juice a fancy name and charge you 24 Riyals for a glass. 24 Riyals - that is more than 6 dollars!! You look around and see everyone pretending to be buried in their laptop with their coffee and sandwich - or both. So you cave in and buy that glass of mango juice. Congratulations - you just got ripped off. Welcome to the club, compadre.

Sip on that.

Airports try to be friendly, businesslike places. In Dubai, they even have nice, free internet - and it actually works (at Riyadh airport, you have to pay for it - and it doesn't work. The Bangladeshi dude who sells you the logon ticket -

"Tventy Riyal forr 2 hour, SAH!" - smiles knowingly as you take the printout. It is a massive con game.) But there is always something about the aiport - the very transcience, the plastic smiles on the faces of staff, the whirring of airport club cars - those little golf buggies that shuttle passengers to and fro, the loud, slightly off-key announcements, the overpriced items in coffee shops and duty-free item bazaars - there is always something that puts you off slightly. It's like airline food. You go through the motions almost mechanically, hoping it is not poisonous. The faces at the airport - you will probably never see those people again. No wonder it feels weird.

And why does your flight always happen to be at the most difficult-to-find gate? The furthest one, with the longest queues. You barely get there on time. Then you realize you have to go to the bathroom. Which, of course - of course! - is at the other end.

Have a safe flight!

I am exhausted.

2008-11-26T07:36:00.000-08:00

Really, I am. Shyte.

Milestones

2008-11-06T00:15:00.000-08:00

Stuff changes, times move on - and the future sometimes catches up with us. You do understand the reasons for the philosophical mood.

From being criticised by Alfred Mutua for "meddling in Kenya's affairs" and "campaigning for Raila Odinga" to having a holiday declared in his honour.

From "not ready on day one" to "the solution to America's problems".

From this:

[he he]

To this:

And so on - and you remember, sometimes, so many of those bitter things that were said, those barely-concealed calls for assassination, those open racial baits - it all ends up with this.

It's been a great week. Now, let me go celebrate!

Obama's Closing Arguments - the 30 minute-ad

2008-10-30T06:08:00.000-07:00

Part 1 of 4:

Part 2 of 4:

Part 3 of 4:

Part 4 of 4:

Meetings

2008-10-12T23:15:00.000-07:00

You shuffle paper. Listen to the windbag. Watch the presentation - or pretend to. Everyone knows whats going on. Everyone pretends, too.

And then your laptop discovers a wireless network somewhere. It is unsecured. Suddenly, life is not so bad after all...

The 10 commandments of Blogging

2008-10-06T08:21:00.000-07:00

From the Economist:
1 You shall not put your blog before your integrity
2 You shall not make an idol of your blog
3 You shall not misuse your screen name by using your anonymity to sin
4 Remember the Sabbath day by taking one day off a week from your blog
5 Honour your fellow-bloggers above yourselves and do not give undue significance to their mistakes
6 You shall not murder someone else's honour, reputation or feelings
7 You shall not use the web to commit or permit adultery in your mind
8 You shall not steal another person's content
9 You shall not give false testimony against your fellow-blogger
10 You shall not covet your neighbour's blog ranking. Be content with your own content

Riyadh Bathroom

2008-07-18T04:13:00.000-07:00

Flush by hand!? How else??

Obama!!

2008-06-05T01:09:00.000-07:00

If it wasn’t believable, it would scarcely have happened, would it? And yet, you still catch your breath and wonder – not at the bewildering political talents of this man, not at the astonishing will and tenacity he showed to persist, in the face of racial attacks from the Big Dog himself, in spite of the formidable challenges that a man of his colour faces just about anywhere on earth outside Africa, despite the “no chance!” guffaws of the “knowledgeable pundits” who think they shape the SuperPower’s politics – you catch your breath at the audacity of it all, the brushing aside of the sense of entitlement that the Clinton campaign exuded at the beginning of the Democratic Primaries – you marvel at not just the poignancy, but the enormity of the moment itself.
You wonder. You dream, you dare to hope. You recite the mantra – “Yes, we can!”. It feels like being a child all over again. And lordy, does it feel good!
Barack Obama’s overwhelming victory over Hillary and her team gives one Goosebumps. Because, deliberately lost in the raucous din that is American politics is a fine but clearly visible line, a silent instruction to the Black American, a leftover from the days when, liberated though they were, the former slaves were nevertheless expected – nay, forced – to not only place the White man first, but to consciously place themselves last. That line defines what a Black person can do – and what they dare not attempt.

And Barack has just changed all that - so comprehensively that Hillary even loudly wished for Barack's assassination. No more the entitlement that ropes off some positions and defines lowly, crumbs-only reposes for others. No more the arrogant, patonising attitudes that Bubba best illustrated in the campaign. No more the violent, in-your-face politics that many would have liked to adopt as a reaction to oppression – no more of that, but simple reason, a direct comparison of abilities, reducing the antagonism of racial confrontation to a friendly debate, reacting to insults with soaring, uplifting rhetoric, giving confidence, presenting the other side of the divide in human terms, and above all hope – giving the hope that, after 400 years of hurt and suffering, one has finally been anointed to level the playing fields, to look at the world from behind Black eyes – as the world’s most powerful individual.

Finally!

The history book on the shelf...

2008-01-26T06:40:00.000-08:00

Is always repeating itself. And, in the case of Africa, with the same tragic consequences.
But we are jumping the gun - bad term to use here, but what to do?

Since the last posting on this blog, much has gone on in Kenya, and much blood has flowed under the bridge. And still Mwai Kibaki refuses to realize that, even with a partisan section of the media singing his praises, Kenya has rejected him and his fellow thieves. It is the latest manifestation of the violence in Kenya, though, that should force him to wake up and smell the bloody coffee: he has had to resort to the Army to quell an uprising in Nakuru.

The army will fail. An enduring lesson of African armies' intervention in civil matters is the coup d'etat: once the men in uniform discover that they can lord it over politicians, they never quite let go.

It will get worse.

Kibaki sells us down-river

2008-01-01T05:51:00.000-08:00

There I was, feeling self-important and ranting about how the ANC's delegates were handing over South Africa to the dogs. And how. But, the good book says you ought to remove the log in your own eye before zeroing in on the speck in the other person's eye. And Kenya's log is a big, rotten one. The country is gone, and all that is left is for us to pick up the pieces - if any are left over, that is.

Mwai Kibaki lost the election to Raila Odinga - about that there is no doubt among independent observers. Tallying the votes as they were read about by the presiding officers, the Mars group had Raila Odinga leading the then-president by over 467,000 votes. The president's men became desperate - and resorted to the silliest rigging you can ever encounter. As Kibaki himself said in 1988, "even rigging requires intelligence". By this standard, the ex-president's geriatric colleagues would struggle to fill a jar full of brain between them: in one constituency, for example, and with monitors from the European Union watching, the ex-president's buddies changed his total tally from 50,000 votes to 75,000 votes. In another constituency in which the ex-president garnered over 100,000 votes, the votes cast turned out to be 115% of the number of voters registered in that area!

The violence resulting from the stolen elections has been extensively documented. Much soul-searching is being tossed about on TV stations across the world, as the West recoils in horror at yet another African civil war - albeit one still in the making. That a country long described as "an island of stability" in a region full of conflicts is itself reeling from the increasing violence is no surprise to anyone that knows the ethnic rifts that lurk beneath Kenya's calm exterior: the occasional election serves as a vent to these pent-up resentments, but it is only now that they are coming out in full view of the world's media.

So what next? Kibaki is an illegitimate "president" - and nowhere is this more evident than in his refusal to allow an independent audit and recount of the presidential votes cast in the election. All this is predictable - the man wants to cling onto power, and he probably senses that matters have gone so far down-river that were he to step down now, his personal safety - and those of his closest associates - would not be guaranteed. But it gets worse for Kibaki - because the country is disintegrating at an astonishing speed. Already, reports are coming through of Rwanda-style "ID inspections" - gangs of anti-Kibaki youths all over are demanding that anyone they run into produces their national ID card. Sadly, Kenya's tribal groups each have differing naming traditions, with the result that a surname is enough to identify someone's tribe. In this case, anyone belonging to Kibaki's tribe is automatically assumed to be a supporter of the ex-president - and is thus massacred.
Violence on its own is scary. But it gets frightening when it begins to assume genocidal proportions: in Eldoret, a group of 15 Kikuyu's (Kibaki's tribe) hiding in a church were burnt to death in the church. And if that sounds vaguely familiar, it is because that is the case: in Rwanda during the 1994 genocide, thousands of people sheltering in churches were burnt to death by enraged mobs.

In the middle of the greatest crisis that the country has ever faced, the folly of Mr Kibaki and his collaborators is astounding. As the country burns, Mr Kibaki is promising to "clamp down" on the rightful president of Kenya. It would be funny if it were not so tragic: there are reports that sections of the Army have mutinied, and that the Chief of General Staff of the Armed Forces declined to openly support Kibaki.
Mr Kibaki is a clever guy (or, at least, he WAS clever before he had an accident in 2002 and had to be treated for head injuries), and he is clearly literate. If these qualities have not deserted him, one hopes he still is in a position to surf the internet. If so, one would urge him to look at Kenya today and compare it with the Ivory Coast in 2000. And, if he still has the stomach to continue reading, he might compare what is happening in Kenya to innocent Kikuyus, to the generally-recognised stages of a genocide. If he did, he might think a little more about Kenya and a little less about himself and his corrupt cronies.

Manucho added - the Latinisation of United

2007-12-22T00:57:00.000-08:00

It's been a quiet season so far for the Champions: they have simply got on with doing the job of defending the title. Or so it seems. In fact, quite out of sight, the United dressing room is heading slowly but inexorably towards a Latin majority - and the remarkable thing is that no one seems to be paying any attention to this. One wonders what exactly this means - could it, in fact, be the final indicator that SAF wants to step down within the next two seasons and hand over to Carlos Queiroz?
The Latin flavour in the side is certainly growing: the signing of Manucho adds to a senior squad that already contains Patrice Evra, Christiano Ronaldo, Nani, Carlos Tevez, Anderson, and Pique.

This blog would like to guess that the signings are, in fact, not the work of Alex Ferguson, but of Queiroz. That this is all part of a slow but sure process of handing over - that, in fact, SAF has decided to quit in a season or two, and that his deputy is customizing the squad so that when he does take over, he has a squad that he is comfortable working with.
If this indeed is the case, then Queroz has a tough job - satisfying the prawn-sandwich brigade is no easy task, as indeed he will recall from a similar situation when he was Real Madrid manager. But he is not a bad dude, and one must give him a chance to show what he is capable of.

And, on another note, Manucho becomes the second African signing at OT after Djemba Djemba's disastrous outing (or, should we count Nani and Evra? They were, after all, born in Africa - Cape Verde and Senegal, respectively...), with United having been very cautious when it comes to African players - largely, some say, because of the difficult conditions that African players have to contend with in the club-vs-country debate. Already, Manucho will be away to represent Angola in the CAN in January.

This blog wishes him well!

ANC Voters Hand SA To The Dog(s)?

2007-12-16T22:34:00.000-08:00

I am no fan of Jacob Zuma. He is a sex pest and alleged rapist, an irresponsible man who has sex without a condom (and with a HIV-positive woman, to boot) and then takes a shower to "prevent infection", and he takes bribes - as do his friends.

He did not receive any formal schooling, and so clearly has little or no understanding of economics - even if he has a sharply-honed political mind.

I am therefore disappointed that, as I write this, Zuma is poised to grab the ANC president's position from Thabo Mbeki, the quiet intellectual whose leadership has delivered good economic growth and jobs to that country. Under SA's political system, it should be a formality for Zuma to then be elected SA's president - and one shudders at the thought of a corrupt rapist leading South Africa.

Why are the ANC's voters so anxious to hand the country over to Zuma? What does this half-literate, extremely left-leaning populist have to offer an economy and country in need of strong leadership to expand the economy and stem crime? What sacrifices is he likely to make to the trade unions in their demands for higher wages and softer working conditions - in a country in rapid transition that faces heavy demands from the poor population? Why, in a nutshel, is Zuma even ALLOWED to contest this election?

Ach, shame.

Doris Wefwafwa wakhulekha

2007-12-11T09:24:00.000-08:00

Doris Wefwafwa, nicknamed "Scud" in Kenyan volleyballing circles, passed away on December 11th, 2007, in the US. She will be sadly missed.

Her passing on comes shortly after the February death of another of that golden generation of Kenyan volleyballers, Violet Barasa. They will be mourning in Nairobi, in Bungoma, at Campbellsville University and over at Lugulu Girls'.

Kaba kalongwa ne Wele!

England remain home...

2007-11-22T03:36:00.000-08:00

It is nice for the English to finally come to terms with their luck running out. It had to, sometime. All that "it's the foreign players in the Premiership" nonsense really did go to their heads - they are rubbish, and they just discovered it.

Ps. Feel for poor Scotland. They did all the hard work, and then failed at the last hurdle. It is the season of heroic failure in the UK - Hamilton, England's rugby team, the Scots, then England's spoilt footie stars. Euro 2008 will be that much the poorer without them - imagine the Barmy Army cheering - who? Russia against Germany? Shame.

Devils Dazzle - Watch Out, Goons!

2007-11-12T08:22:00.000-08:00

Man United are not renowned for smooth, passing football. The term "sexy football" is generally the last one you expect to hear at Carrington - you somehow do not associate Gary Neville with sweet passing moves and triangle passes.

This is changing. A combination of inspired signings over the closed season has seen the Latin influence at United grow - where once United had just Saha and Ronaldo to add Latin flair to a strong but ageing side, they now have Nani, Tevez, Anderson and Pique. And it is showing. On the back of FOUR consecutive 4-goal romps, United went to the Emirates and held the Goons to a 2-2 draw that United should have won. Then Wayne Rooney suffered a broken foot - but United barely noticed as Giggs rolled back the years and Ronaldo waltzed through Blackburn's defence to score a brace and send the Devils top. It was enough to get SAF purring about this being his "strongest team ever".

That remains to be seen. But the football United are playing is astonishingly good. The floating-on-air moves of Ronaldo and Giggs are anchored on either side by the solid defensive partnering of Rio Ferdinand and Nemanja Vidic in defence and Rooney and Tevez in attack, while the wing wizardry of Giggs and Ronaldo / Nani is supported by the overlapping wingplay of Evra and Wes Brown. That just leaves the midfield to contend with - and United have an embarassment of riches in that department - from Scholes (He Scores Goals!) to the (very technically gifted) Hargreaves. And that is even before you add the passing abilities of Carrick. Did I forget to mention Saha?

Play this kind of football for another five matches or so, and people start to mention the term "sexy". And when you look at the set of passes that Giggs and Ronaldo are stringing together, the moves and the record of the season so far, why not?

Prisoner no more. Sadly.

2007-10-19T00:28:00.000-07:00

Lucky Dube, the wailing voice of the oppressed young man in apartheid South Africa, was murdered in an early morning carjacking in Johannesburg, which is Africa's crime capital. Terrible. With the World Cup just around the corner, they really need to do something about the crime in SA - the rumblings in FIFA and elsewhere notwithstanding, it just needs seeing to. Badly.

When a bribe is...just lunch!

2007-10-17T01:06:00.000-07:00

When is a bribe not a bribe? Wait, I need to rephrase that. When does one cross the line between "accepting lunch from a client" and accepting a bribe? Let's contextualize.

Kenya is the 7th most corrupt country in the world - we are sleazier than Nigeria, and have the pride of rubbing grubby shoulders with the likes of Zimbabwe and Sierra Leone. Our Police force is unashamedly corrupt - cops have been filmed taking bribes from law-breaking motorists, and the government's own anti-graft honcho had to flee the country after threats against his life by corrupt ministers. He had the temerity to record conversations between himself and said ministers, in which those cabinet worthies told him to leave corrupt government officials alone. When the government officially sanctions corruption, you can't win - so the wisdom goes. And, if you can't beat them, says the cynic's almanac, hell, join 'em!

And so, schooled in the ways of bribes and aware of the ramifications of bribery at both small-scale (i.e. you and I) and national levels, one would expect Kenyans to be a little more, shall we say, discerning in their actions - one wants to say that a Kenyan would know that

1. It is wrong to receive a bribe, solicited or not; and
2. If one is offered money or favours as a direct inducement to "help" in a capacity in which one's job involves providing that "help" anyway, it is a bribe.

Enter Lynette. She's 32, beautiful, has a university degree, and works for one of Kenya's largest life insurance corporations.

In fact, if you drop by said company, chances are that if you need help with anything and have just gone past the lady at the lifts, you are waiting to see Lynette. Crucial linkperson between the client and the company, one might say - a clearing-house of sorts, a person who might mean the difference between getting good service at the company, and being sent home with the exhortation "check tomorrow".

It follows that she in a rather important position - and will be aware of the company's "Code of Ethics", which specifically states that "An employee should neither accept nor solicit any non-minor gifts, hospitality, or other favours from suppliers of goods or services.", and also that "The group has a zero tolerance position on corruption."

And yet she accepts "gifts" from customers. Yes, she does. Her defence of it is interesting: this practice, she says, is rife at her former employer - where she worked in a similar capacity - and so should not be anything unusual. This is a chat transcription:

Lynette:
"Some clients [who come to see us for customer service] feel generous and offer money for lunch. I am not entirely sure I should be accepting."
Me: "Who?? Clients?"
L: "Yes."
Me: "Even at 32, your naivety is amazing! Anyway, enjoy the lunch."
L: "I intend to, given that am so broke."

The money went to buy a grilled chicken lunch, it turns out.

On being asked why she would accept money from a total stranger whose only connection to her seems to be the fact that she is the customer service officer at his insurer, she says:

"I will most likely never see this person again [so why not take the money?]. And we used to get money all the time from clients at [former employer] in appreciation but someone like you would never understand."

This blew me away - especially considering that I also worked for said former employer. There it is - at the cream of Kenyan private industry, in one of the best-run financial organisations (IMO) in the country, bribes were quietly changing hands in the Customer Service department. As if this is not scary enough, it turns out to be "nothing unusual", and is called "lunch".

And we dare berate the government for being sleazy. Who is fooling whom?

Alek - in her own words

2007-10-14T00:09:00.000-07:00

"I WAS born, the seventh of nine children, in a little town called Wau. Alek means “black spotted cow”, a symbol of good luck for my people, the Dinka. I got my long body from my father – I’m 5ft 11in tall – and my mother gave me my smile. My inky skin came from both of them.

My people have lived in the southern Sudan for thousands of years. The main thing to understand about my country is that it has always been split between the Islamic Arab north and the animist and Christian south. The British, who ruled until the 1950s, governed north and south separately; but, just before independence, they gave in to pressure from the Islamic leaders in the north to unite the country.

The northern government proceeded to impose Islamic culture on the southern people, and a brutal civil war broke out. It lasted until 1972 when both sides signed an accord guaranteeing autonomy for the south. I was born five years later.

The Dinka are divided into clans, which are split into smaller groups that each control just enough land to provide water and pasture for their beloved cattle. These animals are so essential to the Dinka that, even though my parents raised us in a town, my mother still kept about 15 head of longhorned cattle.

“Don’t forget to pick up the manure,” she would say to us before we went to school.

Cow dung is really quite clean – after all, it is just grass and water. We’d leave the manure to dry while we went to school and in the evening we would burn it so the smoke would keep the flies and mosquitoes away. Sometimes we would use the ash – which had been purified by being burnt – as toothpaste. We didn’t have plastic brushes in those days; we chewed on sticks until they went soft and then we would rub them along our teeth and gums. Years later, when I was 26, I went to the dentist for the first time. He said I had incredibly healthy teeth, so I’m definitely an advocate of sticks and dung powder for good oral health.

And it’s not just the dung. Sometimes a village boy herding cattle will stick his head under a cow when it’s urinating so that the liquid goes over his hair and body. That’s because cow urine kills lice and keeps mosquitoes away. If you think about it, isn’t that boy clever to take care of his infestation that way, since medicines and insecticides are so scarce in the countryside?

One thing that couldn’t be cured was psoriasis, which I had all over my body since I was baby. No one knew what to do about it. My skin turned ashy and white, and I’d scratch until I bled. I felt so ashamed. It’s strange that I grew up to make my living off my looks after so many years of looking like a monster. It cleared up after I moved to Britain’s damper climate, but those years suffering from it taught me not to take beauty too seriously. I was ugly for much of my childhood, and then my skin cleared up and people thought just the opposite; but I remained the same person, with an ugly side and a beautiful side like everyone else. There was nothing substantially different about me; my skin was just better.

I grew up in what was considered a middle-class family. We lived in a two-bed-room cement-block house with a courtyard for the cows. There were eight of us: my mother, father and six children – the oldest three had grown up and left.

Most people in Europe or America would have called us poor, since we didn’t have electricity, running water or an indoor toilet. But we had enough to eat, a solid house and simple clothes. There were plenty of people poorer than us, who worked in the fields and lived in houses with thatched roofs.

My father worked at the local board of education. He left each morning wearing a suit and tie and carrying a black leather briefcase. He was a very stylish man, about 6ft 5in tall, slender and handsome.

In the evenings he would sit in a shaded chair on the veranda and have a cup of tea while he listened to the BBC World Service on his little battery-powered radio..."

The beauty of country life - and the brutality of racism. Go on, read the rest of the story at Times Online.

Top 10 Reasons To Avoid Kenya Airways

2007-10-05T04:28:00.000-07:00

1. It is not safe. Kenya Airways (KQ) planes have developed an annoying habit of late - they simply drop from the sky when it suits you least.

2. They don't give a shyt when their planes are delayed - you will wait in the lounge, no hotel provided, for 8 hours or more as you wait for them to do something. Which they usually don't. Consider it a favour that they don't dump you off the subsequent replacement flight (if any) altogether.

3. They ALWAYS lose your baggage, however small and clearly-labelled it is. I think it is part of their corporate strategy - one can imagine someone up in "Executive Management" sending memos reading "We make money on lost baggage. Ensure baggage is lost. Regardless!"

4. They do not have round-the-clock flights. This means that if you are on the LAST FLIGHT of the day and it is delayed, your trip is a goner.

5. Their country-specific website lists "Burundi" first. Burundi??? Not everyone is a gorilla-hunter or genocide tourist (ya, there was a bit of that in Burundi, too. Not too sure who was butchering whom there - central African genocides are complicated.).

6. Their new logo is rubbish. A buddy, BN, reckons that logo was designed by a kid. Who was drunk and had just been spanked.

7. Their old logo is even worse.

8. The food on any of their non-european routes is crap. The air hostess walks up to you and announces sweetly "Chicken or beef, sir?" - you jump at the chance and state "Chicken!". At which point she smoothly proceeds with "Sorry Sir, there is no more chicken. Chicken or beef, Sir?"

9. Their in-flight video screens don't work. They are always on, and you can't turn them off. And they don't show anything. Just a blinking light.

10. Their inflight announcements suck. There is usually a terrible attempt to provide a French version of their routine announcement. It is atrocious.

By the way, why do airlines bother with these inflight safety announcements anyway? I am not talking about the fact that you don't listen to them. But, seriously, who believes any of the stuff they say? They recommend that you fasten your seat belt for safety. But if safety is their primary concern, why aren't their seats rear-facing?
They proceed to tell you where your life jacket is, and then show you how to inflate it. All hot air: in the history of aviation, not a single passenger aircraft has made a successful landing on water. So don't bother with the bloody jacket.
And, for most flights, the airplane is too high for mobile networks to connect, anyway. So why the "switch off your mobile phone" crap? And if it is low enough to find a network, how can it mess with the plane? Or is it just so that you can use their inflight phones?

Remember to give KQ a miss next time!

PS. They have the best women on the continent. Now, Ugandans are coming up with some seriously good blogging chicks. And they dont rant. Check out Maureen's blog at http://www.maureenbn.blogspot.com/.

Red Devils Blues?

2007-08-20T05:51:00.000-07:00

The season has been terrible so far. Someone please stop all football until United can muster a decent crack at actually playing the game. Damn!!

Raila a tribalist? Are you mad?

2007-07-31T05:45:00.001-07:00

Sarah Elderkin is no stranger to the Kenyan political scene: she was the first to write about the Goldenberg scandals in the Nation in 1993. She has penned a beautiful response to Makau Mutua's anti-Raila rantings, and I suspect the EAS might have copyright grievances that I post it here, but what the hell.
So, nuff said:

from http://www.eastandard.net/archives/?mnu=details&id=1143972011&catid=190

++++++++++++

By Sarah Elderkin

A few weeks ago, another Sunday newspaper carried an article by Makau Mutua, whose byline also occasionally appears in this newspaper.

The point of Mr Mutua’s article was to paint Raila Odinga in the worst colours Mr Mutua could possibly mix on his crazily hued palette.

It was clearly unimportant how accurate the resulting likeness was. I suppose that’s what they mean by modern art.

Mr Mutua, a professor at a minor US university and chairman of the non-governmental organisation Kenya Human Rights Commission (not to be confused with the body established by an Act of Parliament, the Kenya National Commission on Human Rights), has a penchant for this sort of thing.

Just about every article he writes is an unbridled attack in the most immoderate language on the target of the day most frequently Mr Odinga.

Mr Mutua actually has nothing positive to say about anyone or anything. That is his privilege, of course, but one does wonder what he thinks he is contributing to the national effort.

This is in marked contrast to the contribution made by some of the people on whom he launches his attacks, particularly Odinga and his late father, Saratoga Oginga Odinga, and then by extension the whole Luo community, whose members Mr Mutua insultingly calls psychotic because they support Raila.

Does Mr Mutua perhaps think that mass support is only laudable if the recipient belongs to a different tribe? I didn’t notice him calling Luos psychotic when they voted 98 per cent for Mwai Kibaki in 2002.

Alternatively, perhaps Mr Mutua thinks it is a sin to be popular (something he is unlikely ever to be able to test personally).

Tellingly, when accusing Raila of tribalism, he mentioned in his article nothing at all about Raila’s popularity in cosmopolitan Nairobi.

That would have destroyed his spurious arguments. Likewise, he steered well clear of Raila’s repeatedly demonstrated popularity countrywide an unstoppable flood of support. Definitely mustn’t mention that.

Mr Mutua also tried to dismiss as a "purely tribal" affair the 2005 referendum on the Draft Constitution, where the ‘No’ vote was led by Odinga.

Mr Mutua presumably referred to Kikuyus versus the rest. It is a fact that the ‘Yes’ vote was 43 per cent of the total. It is also a fact that Kikuyus make up 22 per cent of Kenya’s population.

This means that, if every Kikuyu in the land voted, and voted ‘Yes’ both of which are entirely unlikely – they would still only make up about half the ‘Yes’ vote.

The other half came from non-Kikuyus. And if many Kikuyus did band together to support Mr Kibaki in the referendum vote, are they psychotic too? Is everyone psychotic except Makau Mutua?

Let’s stop allowing people like him to promote tribalism by perpetrating this kind of propaganda and disinformation. As for "all" Mr Odinga’s "close confidantes (sic) and supporters" being "his kinsmen", as Mr Mutua stated well, it’s news to some of us that we are related to Odinga.

It’s news that the Kikuyu and Embu not to mention Luo members of his strategic team are family members. It’s also fascinating to hear that his Luhya driver, Kikuyu private secretary, Kamba office functionary and others are likewise kin.

Perhaps we should mention those who really are related his Luhya sonin-law and Kikuyu daughter-in-law. If Mr Odinga were a tribalist, could he have countenanced giving his approval to these matches?

And we shouldn’t forget the supporters who spoke at his presidential caucus people who hailed from all walks of life and every corner of the country, and not a single Luo among them.

The people who support Odinga are there not because he is the Luo Raila Odinga but because of what the man stands for and believes in.

And d’you know, I’m getting tired of this constant need to refute malicious and unfounded charges of tribalism against Odinga – tired of seeing people set up straw men in order to pretend that these straw men are Raila, simply for the pleasure of knocking them down.

In doing this, they completely ignore the evidence of history. So why don’t we take a look at history, tribalism and the Odingas?

It is well documented that Raila’s father, Jaramogi Oginga Odinga, refused the offer of the prime ministership, made to him by the colonial governor just before Independence, telling the governor he must release Kenyatta "and let him lead the people of this country". Jaramogi made this personal sacrifice for the unity of the nation.

That was in 1961. More than 40 years later, in 2002, Raila Odinga similarly stood back, putting aside any personal ambition he might have had, and said "Kibaki tosha!".

He knew that, if he did not make this sacrifice, the country would end up with the same election result as in 1992 and 1997: a divided opposition and an easy victory for Kanu. None of the 2002 presidential contenders in the opposition had been willing to step down. There was an argument for or against each person.

The Kikuyus and Kalenjins couldn’t have the post because they’d had it before. The Luhyas should have it because they were the next largest tribe, Charity because she was a woman, Kalonzo to represent youth, Saitoti because he had more years of experience as vice-president than Kibaki, Nyachae because he came from a small tribe, Raila because the Luos had borne the brunt of marginalisation and suffering.

Most of the arguments were based on tribal considerations. Raila knew it couldn’t work and he stepped outside the ring to ensure what he believed was a non-tribal result for everyone.

Who dares to call him a tribalist? In 1997, Raila Odinga, this man with his "lust for power" and determination to be president "at all costs", had set out, along with Paul Muite, James Orengo and Richard Leakey, to find a compromise candidate.

At meetings in Dr Leakey’s Hurlingham office, it was agreed that Dr Leakey would approach Willy Mutunga and Kivutha Kibwana (both turned down the offer on grounds of not wishing to undermine Charity Ngilu), while Mr Odinga would approach Wangari Maathai.

Wangari accepted but others ruled out her candidature. When this plan failed, Raila stated his willingness to step down in favour of Charity, to unite his own National Development Party and Charity’s Social Democratic Party. The suggestion was that Charity would run on an NDP ticket.

Charity did not agree to this and the initiative came to naught. Only after all other avenues had been exhausted, then, did Mr Odinga finally decide to offer his candidacy on an NDP ticket.

Does this sound like the story of a tribalist who will stop at nothing to get to State House? Half-a-century earlier, Jaramogi had set the non-tribal example his son would follow when he sent thousands of students to foreign countries for education.

Were they Luos? Yes, some of them were. They included Omolo Okero, Odongo Omamo, Odero Jowi and SM Otieno.

Were there equally people from other tribes? Yes, there were. They included Joe Karanja, now deceased but later to become vice president; Henry Wariithi, later MP for Mukurweini; Kiongo Ndile, later also an MP; Francis Masakhalia, later a cabinet minister; Makokha Nabwera, brother to later minister Burudi; Kipng’eno arap Ng’eny, also subsequently a cabinet minister, and Moses arap Keino, now deceased but at one time the parliamentary Speaker.

In addition, there were later deputy secretary Dr Watindi, medic Dr Charles Otara, trade unionist Juma Boy and Public Service Commission chairman Eng Sharawe. Was this assistance to such a wide variety of people the behaviour of a tribalist? Later, in 1957, Jaramogi became one of the African Elected Members (AEMs) of the ruling Legislative Council (LegCo).

The AEMs formed a de facto opposition to the colonial government. T he following year, Jaramogi, still a staunch and faithful defender of the jailed Kenyatta, electrified Legco when he referred to Kenyatta as still the leader of the African people.

It was a time when people hardly dared mention Kenyatta’s name. Jaramogi’s remarks came during debate on a motion brought by Tom Mboya, during which Kenyatta and his fellow detainees at Lokitaung had been referred to by others in the House as nothing more than common criminals.

Jaramogi was incensed. He said, "These people, before they were arrested, they were the political leaders of the Africans in this country, and the Africans respected them as their political leaders – and even at this very moment, in the heart of hearts of Africans, they are still the political leaders."

There was mayhem in the House, with shouts of "Order! Order!" all round. Jaramogi was not deterred. He went on to refer to "mistakes" made by the government, which were "hurting the feelings of the Africans" – but he got no further. Members roared and the Speaker, the gloriously named Sir Ferdinand Cavendish-Bentinck, hastily interposed with, "I think the time has come for the interruption of business", moving speedily on to the infinitely preferable and less contentious ministerial statement on the Dairy Industry Bill Select Committee, Additional Members.

Jaramogi was not cowed. When debate on ‘Convicts at Lokitaung Prison and Elsewhere’ resumed the following day, he was ready.

He called to mind the treatment of former Cypriot leader Archbishop Makarios, who had been imprisoned by the British at State Lodge, Seychelles, from where there were daily public reports on his health and activities.

Jaramogi said, "The same thing with Mr Jomo Kenyatta should exactly be done, because anything ....." Jaramogi could not continue. He was again drowned out by cries of "Order! Order!" around the House.

Not all the African members present shared Jaramogi’s nationalism and passionate support for Kenyatta’s leadership. One, Mr Bernard Mate, the member for Central Province North, objected to what Jaramogi had said, asserting when he stood to speak that, "We in Central Province today are the political leaders in Central Province." In later years, after Independence, when Jaramogi split from Kenyatta to form the Kenya People’s Union, the disagreement between the two men had been mainly over land.

Jaramogi defended the poor and landless against those who were using their positions to acquire more land and wealth for themselves. And who were the landless? It wasn’t the Luos, who had suffered very little land expropriation by the colonials.

It was the people of Central Province whose lands had been taken, and they were the people Jaramogi was defending.

Jaramogi demonstrated his nationalism on countless occasions and suffered for his principles. Raila has done no less, taking up Jaramogi’s baton and devoting nearly 40 years of his life to the fight for democracy and justice, enduring along the way persecution, torture, detention and exile, and all the untold personal suffering associated with the day-today and years-long terror of those conditions. Raila Odinga is a man unafraid to make personal changes and take risks for the betterment of all.

He is Member of Parliament for a cosmopolitan constituency far from his homeland, when others would be far too cowardly to take such a risk, and he has shown his ability to take an ‘unknown’ party and make it a force to be reckoned with nationwide.

He is the perfect example of a detribalised politician who has also succeeded in retaining the support of his own community. Tribalism? Bah, humbug!

Our learned friend Mr Makau Mutua, safely seated for years now in his New York office, and whose personal contribution to the struggle for the moment escapes me, has everything to learn about what it is to be a nationalist in Kenya.

Still, as they say, there’s no time to start like the present.
+++++++++++++++

Fuzzy? Whose MBA is fuzzy?

2007-07-18T08:02:00.000-07:00

Let's call her the ~~kid~~ lady. Better yet, let's call her Waithera. Nice ~~kid~~ lady, great demeanour, clever as anything, and one hell of a bone to chew with this blog. Because it referred to "those fuzzy things they teach in MBA courses". So I need to explain.

It used to be all simple, in days-gone-yonder: you completed high school, scoring top marks, joined a nice university, got some form of a batchelor's degree, and went to work. After a few years learning the ropes, you went back to school for a Masters degree in science or something equally serious, went back to work, invented something interesting, and became a top manager. Or, you stayed in academia and modelled young brains to treat everything with the scepticism it deserves.

That was then - the Brits ruled the world, and you were nothing without a club membership. This is now. America rules. Out went science degrees, in came business degrees. Out went clubs, in came pubs. And fast food joints (which also just happen to offer degrees...). The master's degree - the traditional departure point from undergraduate preoccupations as students moved up in the world - was replaced by the MBA.
Let me explain a few things about MSc courses. They are astonishingly challenging. They are difficult. You have to read.

But hell, what do I know? All I can rant about is what I have gone through, so let me do a quick comparison between an MSc in Information Security, and an MBA in Information Security.

In most MSc Information Security programmes, you have the following compulsory modules, or some form of them:
Computer Structures

Security Engineering

Computer Forensics

Computer Communication and Networks

Internet Programming (PHP, ASP, and good old HTML)

Programming in C++

Programming in Java

This is in addition to other modules. Assignments are in the form of actual software that you have to present, actual security modules that WORK, actual protocol designs that you can implement - and will need to implement just to earn marks. It has to work. Or you fail. The material is hard, and you have to learn things like functional programming. What is even worse for many kids today, this stuff doesn't just have to run on your PC - especially if said PC runs some sort of Microsoft software. It has to be uploaded to some student server, where the environment will usually be harsh: a mixture of a locked-down Linux platform and a sadistic university support guy. Message being: if you can't find your way around this server, you probably shouldn't be trying. Go study for an MBA.

Where you will find the following core courses:

Management Information Systems (same course as the undergraduate INS 410)

Introduction to Information Security (not quite to the same level as Security+, and minus the exam)

Organizational Behavior (MBA's are generally American. They spell "behaviour" that way. In this course, you learn things like "designing jobs to enhance employee satisfaction" and "how to identify and adopt leadership styles".)

Managing System Networks (they mean, Networking Essentials - likely the very first exam you did on your way to the old MCSE.)

Information Security Ethics and Policy (I don't know what this is.)

This is in addition to a bunch of other courses, like "the microeconomics of decision-making" and the like. They make you form class groups and sell imaginary security modules to each other at double their buying price.

Now, the kids that go through these MBA courses are a lucky lot. They will never have to tear their hair out wondering how changing variables can remain static. Or even trying to make the mental leap from structural to OO programming. No, sir. They will sit in lecture rooms and examine case studies. They will read up on Bill Gates' business model (he does not have an MBA. Has any MBA won any Nobel Prize in Science?), or maybe Larry Ellison's. In short, they will never really do ANYTHING worthy of academic recognition.

How do you weed out the mentally lazy, the simply stupid, or the inept students from the stars using an MBA programme? You can't. George W. Bush has an MBA. (Wangari Maathai received an Msc, on the way to becoming the first East African woman to earn a Ph.D.) You just award them the degree. If it is an MSc programme, people learn the importance of consulting, of due diligence, of listening to others. After all, they have to conduct a literature review before writing their thesis. There are few exercises as humbling as realising that, even though you are embarking on a quest to contribute something new to world scholarship, it has already been done. MBA's don't have theses (that is the plural of 'thesis' for the MBA types). They have "projects". You go on secondment to Coca Cola, and they let you serve the tea. Then you go back to college and graduate. You do not know how to listen to anyone else. You go on and start a war in the Middle East. Or anywhere else, for that matter.

And so it goes. Find me an MBA (in whatever computing discipline) who can rip through a recursive algorithm in the time it takes to log onto a Solaris server, and I will buy you a burger. Which MBA is fuzzy? Which one is not? Is there anyone that cannot rip through the typical MBA curriculum in about two weekends, while reviewing the latest beta code of their current project?

The ~~kid~~ lady will probably kill me for this. Ah, but she is living the Cali life. Silicon Valley is not far, but you can't quite smell it, can you?

Swivelling?

2007-07-03T07:00:00.000-07:00

Snow in South Africa. Floods in Britain. Cyclones in the Gulf. What's cooking down below and up above, you wonder?

Stay safe!

Bye Bye HTML text editors...Hello Aptana!

2007-06-18T11:19:00.000-07:00

You have been suffering with antiquated HTML editors that pretend to be suitable for actual coding. Some even lay claim to being javascript editors. Suffer no more! Get hold of Aptana. It is the BEST HTML / CSS / Javascript / anything IDE you will ever run into. And it is FREE.

That's right - no registration required, no trial versions, no spyware, no silly adverts. Just a cool IDE that uses up a mere 1.5MB RAM as its working footprint. Intellisense built in. Contextual help as-you-code. Inbuilt W3c validator. I can't possibly do justice with any of the adjectives my vocabulary contains. Hell, it even has Adobe AIR and Ruby on Rails support. Go get it!

The Sopranos takes a bow

2007-06-11T06:20:00.000-07:00

Ok, first things first. Some idiotic coward detonated a bomb outside a Nairobi hotel. As I write this, it is estimated that one person (in addition to the bomber) was killed as a result, with dozens injured.

If you have a cause that you think deserves sympanthy, how then does blowing up innocent people help you? Some people are just plain stupid. It is not possible for such a person to have more than 500 grams of brain. Really. Stupid bastards.

******************************************

"After eight years, 86 episodes and innumerable garrottings, gougings, beatings, decapitations and chain-assisted drownings, “The Sopranos” came to an end on June 10th" moans The Economist. The weekly does not mourn alone.

The Sopranos has delivered top-quality, realistic, no-frills programming to my TV set for a while now. Everyone has a favourite character in that cast: from the mean-as-anything Paulie Gautieri (who, says the Economist, is one of those characters that inhabit a no-man's-land between cartoon characters and nightmares) to Tony's shrink. And poor Adriana!

Will there be a Sopranos movie? Obviously. David Chase is cagey about it, but the Sopranos is too lucrative not to hit the big screen.

And the better for it!

Amazon Sucks!!

2007-06-03T11:38:00.000-07:00

Outsourcing is definitely bad for you. It does not matter what business you are in, whether it is selling fried temites or servicing spaceships - outsourcing does not work. Most companies are pretty lousy at customer service - who says things will change when you outsource to someone who does not even understand your business model?

This might be because most companies are led by men.

Let me explain.

Men and women are different. What are the chances that a woman will mug you today if you walked Nairobi's mean streets? Nil. Men are reared on excess hormones, pumped up by copious amounts of bitter beer and poor eating habits. And then there is the aggro: you can't be a man if you dont show some steel every so often. Very often.

Now, we know that aggression can also manifest itself as a misguided form of self-confidence: a spring in the step, a chip on the shoulder - the cliched adjectives roll off the keyboard. Can an aggressive, self-confident fellow admit that he - or his company - is wrong and needs to clean up its act? Nah. He simply says "the majority of our customers enjoy shopping with us". "This was a one-off case". Blah Blah Blah. Liars. Like Blair.

This rant is occasioned by the "customer service" one is likely to run into at Amazon.com. A bit of background is in order...

April 14th: I have a programming class coming up on May 31st. This is serious, swottish class, not one of those fuzzy management thingys they teach in MBA. So, I do what the universe does when it needs to order books - I go to Amazon.com, order the flippin' books, and chill out. A little later, the next day in fact, I receive a cute little email from Amazon, saying "Your order number 104-0054682-3417554 has shipped". (This is the ACTUAL order number I received from them.) They are even good enough to provide me with a tracking number: AMZLEXS0000120526. Estimated delivery date: 8th of May. Enough time to run through the book and shine in class when studies commence.

May 8th: No books. But relax, brah. They may be delayed by one or two days. 31st is still far in the future.

May 14th: Nothing. Nichts. Hamna.

May 23rd or so: I write them from the link on their website. They respond: give it until the 29th. By this time, illusions of shining in class by having read ahead are long gone.

May 30th: Nothing. I call Amazon customer service (their unpublished customer service number is +1-800-201-7575). I run into the infamous answering machine system.

Machine: "Press or say Seven for other options".
Me: "Fuck! A machine!"
Machine: "Sorry, I did not understand you".

Bull.

Eventually, I am routed to a call centre somewhere around the Bangalore area, judging by the accent. The chick on phone is terrified, though her voice is still sexy-ish. I turn off the evil thoughts by imagining it might be the Bandit Queen's sister. You don't mess with that gene pool. Bottom line: Amazon try to mollify me with a bribe. They refund $20 from the order, and Miss New Delhi promises to send me a new order, to arrive within 3 working days.
Actual refund email from them reads in part:

"It is certainly not our intention for our customers to have anythingbut a pleasant experience at our store.

In an effort to compensate you for this inconvenience, I have requested a partial refund of $20.00 to your credit card for the shipping fees you paid for this order.This refund should be processed within the next 3-5 business days,and we will send you an e-mail to confirm when it has been completed."

The refund checks in 2 days later. The books don't. Amazon assume I am happy. I am not.

June 3rd: Still no package. I call them again. Routed to some other call centre. Me and the machine, same conversation, same words, same effect. The chic this time has a clear African accent - I am tempted to believe it is Kencall. Should I switch to Sheng?

Anyway - she gives me a tracking number which turns out to be the same number I received by email from Amazon. I can supposedly track my package on the DHL website with this number: GM01088134014349440.

Well, go try it yourself - the number is useless. DHL's numbers are not in that format. I call Amazon again. They tell me the responsibility is with DHL. I call DHL, who tell me that they don't know me or my number. "Bitte kontaktieren Sie Amazon", comes the Teutonic message. Contact Amazon. Short and curt, no bullshit. This is why Germany wins World Cups - just get to the point, Fraulein Customer Service. Jawohl!

June 3rd, 2100 hours: Jack Ojiambo is playing some smoooth jazz. The books are not here, but who cares? I am smug in the knowledge that I will go blog about it, then go to the house and hit the elliptical machine for an hour. LCS mocks me about the blog bit. "U think your blog will work?"

It won't. And Amazon's profits will continue to fall. Someone pass me a drink.

Giggsy Hangs Up International Boots

2007-05-30T07:03:00.000-07:00

This blog l ionised him back in March , and now Giggsy has decided to quit international football. He has been a great servant of the Welsh football team, such as it is: he has put in 63 appearances for the national team.

First appearing for Wales as a fresh-faced 17 year-old back in 1991, Giggsy became the youngest player ever to play for his country. But qualification for major tournaments proved problematic: Wales seemed to have produced their ow version of "Captain and 10 robots". Giggs would play his heart out, but his teammates were never quite up to scratch and he inevitably came up short. You can't win entire qualification campaigns alone, however talented you may be.

And so he figured - likely with a little prodding from Sir Alex and a word of advise from Paul Scholes - that the best chance he has of lifting the Premiership for a record 10th time next season would only be if he retired and concentrated on the tail end of his glittering club career. Having led United to the title (had to say that!) this past season, it would be great to close out an exemplary career with another title. And who is to say it won't happen?

The Agwambo's Vision

2007-05-07T21:45:00.000-07:00

I will be voting for Agwambo, as will likely any other right-thinking Kenyan. And so, following his wildly successful Presidential Launch on May 6th, I reproduce here his speech from that function. Nuff said...

"HON RAILA ODINGA
Kenyatta International Conference Centre, Nairobi
May 6, 2007
YOUR Excellencies, Honourable Members of Parliament, Ladies and Gentlemen,
Ref: ApplicationFor the job of servant of the people.

I, Raila Amolo Odinga, hereby submit my application.

IT was our forefathers who coined and encapsulated the Kenyan Dream, at the time our country became an independent nation in 1963. They expressed the Dream in the words of our national anthem:...
* “Justice be our shield and defender.
* ..May we dwell in unity, peace and liberty;
* ..Plenty be found within our borders.”

Sadly, today, more than 43 years later, we are further from realising the Dream of our forefathers than we were at Independence.We all know we want to change this. We want to end the way our leaders have used and abused us for the past four decades.We confirmed this during the referendum on the Constitution, when the people of this nation rose up in a tremendous swell of humanity and said, ‘No' to the Wako Draft, which had sought to entrench and expand executive power.

It will be a similarly crucial decision when the members of the Orange Democratic Movement-Kenya choose their flag-bearer for the 2007 general election.It will be a crucial decision because it will affect every Kenyan. It will be important not only for the party, which must be strong and principled, but also for the country.

Almost every Kenyan today is affected by poverty, insecurity, poor education, inadequate health services, lack of social welfare programmes, huge disparities in income, absence of opportunity, disempowerment and consequent hopelessness and despair.We have been spinning out of control on a downward spiral for more than 40 years. Experts have described Kenya as “a country of great potential but a disappointing under-achiever”!

At Independence, Kenya's economy was at par with that of South Korea. All the major economic indicators in the two nations – GDP, per capita income, literacy, industrialisation – were comparable.Forty-three years down the road, the South Korean economy is 40 times the size of Kenya's.Forty times! Not double, or triple, or even ten times, but 40 times larger.What did the South Koreans do right that Kenyans did wrong?

We believe we have the answer to that question.The answer has its beginnings in those days, many decades ago, immediately after Independence, when the united nationalist movement, which had fought for and won our freedom from colonial rule, fractured.It fractured down a fault line that divided two diametrically opposed forces, two contrasting ideologies.In simple terms, one of those two ideologies wanted retention of the colonial status quo. That ideological group was the one that was forming government policy. The new government's policies were based on maximising growth immediately and taking care of equitable distribution later.This meant investing in those parts of the country that were already prosperous, due to their proximity to the centre of colonial power. The policy was justified with the explanation that, as the nation became more prosperous, the benefits would trickle down to everyone.

The promised trickle-down effect has never happened. Families who were poor then have become poorer. Millions of Kenyans have since been born into poverty – grinding poverty that defines and dogs their lives from birth to death, and from which there appears no chance of escape.The policies pursued by successive regimes since Independence have not facilitated mobilisation of our natural and human resources for faster economic growth in tandem with the increased population. Instead, the national cake has been shrinking.During the colonial years, when the nationalist movement was fighting against repressive colonial structures, opposition politics had always been portrayed as an illegitimate activity, and those involved had been criminalised and condemned.

After Independence, the new leaders, facing opposition from those whose concern for the poor was threatening their own acquisition of wealth, lost no time in adopting and employing the same repressive tactics that were its colonial heritage.The struggle in our nation has continued. It has taken different turns at different times in our history but it has never ended. It has been a consistent quest for development, equality and fair sharing of our nation's wealth.We have sought and worked for new Constitution, against the efforts of many of our elitist leaders – who still seek, just like those leaders after Independence, to protect their powerful and privileged positions.

Our national Constitution was first eroded when the post of prime minister, which we had at Independence, was abolished a year later, in order to vest greater power in the presidency.Until that time, we had had two legislatures within our parliament, the House, which we retain today, and the Senate. The Senate was there to provide checks and balances on the work of the House.These checks and balances disappeared as the Senate was discarded – the first of many amendments to the Constitution that not only increased presidential power and created an imperial presidency but also emasculated all the other institutions of government, including the House itself and the judiciary.

What followed was cronyism, where the president appointed only his friends, tribalism, where the president appointed only his tribe, nepotism, where the president appointed only his relatives, and the primitive accumulation of wealth through corruption by these few at the expense of the many with nothing.This sorry state of affairs was made infinitely worse with the publication and implementation of the Ndegwa Commission Report of 1971, which allowed civil servants also to engage in private business. This in effect legalised and institutionalised conflict of interest within the civil service, which led to gross inefficiency and exploitation of the system for personal gain.This is something that has destroyed any chance of progress in the provision of public services in Kenya and has dramatically affected the lives of every Kenyan today.

We have witnessed grand larceny on an unprecedented scale, particularly in the field of government procurement, and particularly regarding infrastructure, defence and government supplies. This corruption has fleeced the country of billions and billions of shillings. Where a lot of this money has gone is more than evident in the way senior civil servants and military personnel retire from public service as multi-billionaires.To paraphrase the immortal words of the late JM Kariuki: We did not attain independence to have a country of one thousand millionaires and thirty four million beggars.This kind of conflict of interest drew the alarm and dismay of some of our early leaders. They opposed what was happening and stood up for the poor of Kenya – and many of these opponents of looting died in their attempts to defend their poverty-stricken fellow countrymen and women.

It is against this background of conflict of interest in many areas of public life that we can seek and find explanations for the assassinations of such patriots as Pio Gama Pinto in 1965; of Tom Mboya in 1969; of those who died in the Kisumu massacre on October 25, 1969; of JM Kariuki, in 1975; of Robert Ouko in 1991 ; and of Odhiambo Mbai, in 2005.It is against this background that we can seek and find explanations for the arrest and detention without trial of many Kenyans, including Kenneth Matiba, Charles Rubia and myself in 1990. Those detained over the years included university lecturers, students, lawyers, law enforcement officers, journalists, MPs, private citizens. Their names, and the names of many other Kenyans – some of them no longer with us – make up the roll call of those who suffered in the cause of the Second Liberation of this country.

It would be a terrible indictment of this country if their suffering remained forever in vain.Those of us who worked for the Second Liberation formed the Forum for the Restoration of Democracy in 1991. That group suffered a split and most of us who had been there from the start moved on into Ford-Kenya. When it became clear there, again, that some of our original principles were being subsumed by personal ambition, those of us of like mind became members of the National Development Party, which eventually went into a merger with the then ruling party, Kanu.Ultimately, we formed the National Rainbow Coalition, in the hope that this would prove a powerful alliance that would finally set us back on the right path in our journey towards the Kenyan Dream.Everything was anchored on that Dream. We wanted to achieve the Kenyan Dream, and we needed a legal framework for its realisation. The emphasis was on review and reform of the constitutional architecture that underpinned our nation. We needed a new Constitution, one that would replace the old, colonial-inspired edifice that had suffered a patchwork of amendments over the years – all designed to keep one party in power. A new Constitution was the conditione sine qua non of the way forward.Unfortunately, we were shortchanged by a few opportunistic elements – self-seekers, relics of the old order, people who could not change.

But we HAVE to change. As Martin Luther King, Jr. said: “The ultimate measure of a [person] is not where s/he stands in moments of comfort, but where s/he stands at times of challenge and controversy.” I believe, like Mahatma Gandhi before me that “progress depends on not repeating the past and that if we are to make progress, we must not repeat history but make new history.”Gandhi also cautioned us against seven ills that we must guard against lest we are destroyed as a country.
These are:
* politics without principle;
* pleasure without conscience;
* wealth without work;
* knowledge without character;
* business without morality;
* science without humanity,
* and worship without sacrifice.

I am deeply committed to a new Constitution and a parliamentary system of government, as contained in the Bomas Draft. The USA is the only country among the major western powers with a presidential system. All the rest are parliamentary democracies, and this is what we must aim for in Kenya.We must remove power from the power-brokers and give it back to the people of this country, so that the people have a real say in their destiny, and are not just dispensable pawns in a complicated game being played by our leaders to rules that only they know.Presidential systems are associated with lower public spending and fewer benefits for the people, and this eventually results in the kind of inequality that characterises our system. That is what I will change.

Power-sharing in a people-driven and consultative process is the way forward, along with devolution of power, as provided for in the Bomas Draft. This is something I am 100 per cent committed to.Concomitant with the ideals contained in the Bomas Draft is dual citizenship for Kenyans. Kenyans abroad remit billions of shillings – far more than our country earns from foreign aid – yet, Kenyans living abroad are not recognized and bestowed with the rights all citizens must have, including the right to vote. My government intends to change that.I believe that, for our country, we need a social-market economy – also christened the Third Way. It is the system best suited to achieving faster socio-economic development and equitable distribution of the fruits of our labour.The private sector must be promoted as the engine for more efficient wealth-creation, while ensuring equity in the distribution of the wealth generated by our efforts.My government will concentrate on creating a favourable environment for the private sector to prosper. Under a clear privatisation policy, government will quickly exit from profitable and well-managed companies and cede ownership to the Kenyan people.My government will only intervene in enterprises where public effort is required for restructuring, and eventually privatising, or by providing seed capital in investments that are needed, but where the risk-reward ratio is too high for the private sector alone. Where such intervention is necessary, my government will exit at maturity of the investment.Above all, in order to be able to move from the clutches of poverty, our economy must grow in double-digit figures, and as it does so, the accruing benefits must be equitably distributed among our people. My team of skilled economists, men and women selected on merit alone, will oversee the re-engineering of our economy to end the vicious circle of “private affluence and public squalor”.We will invest heavily in the development of people-power, emulating those countries whose success has grown beyond measure as their developed people-power drives their economies.And to move the economy forward, we must immediately invest heavily in three things:
* number one, infrastructure!
* number two, infrastructure!
* number three, infrastructure!

In this regard, we will:
* expand and modernise the railway system;
* sustain ongoing reforms to improve telecommunications;
* convert Mombasa port into a free port, construct another port at Lamu, and modernise the inland port at Kisumu;
* expand and elevate to international airport status Kisumu, Malindi and Wajir's facilities, as well as expanding and improving those at Isiolo, Lamu and Lodwar up to full airport status;
* rehabilitate and expand our road network, building a dual carriageway from Mombasa to Malaba/Busia;
* construct water-supply and conservation systems for irrigation and industrial, domestic and livestock usage;
* improve the infrastructure in all our cities and major towns.The net effect of this massive investment in infrastructure will be an increase in wealth-generation, and my government will ensure that this wealth is widely distributed through increased employment.

We shall emphasise the productive sectors of the economy – manufacturing, large-scale agriculture, and the IT revolution.We shall also promote development of the service sector, including tourism, communications and financial service, while laying specific emphasis on the expansion of capital markets.In this context, my government will vigorously pursue the following:
* price stability in the economy;
* a policy of meaningful and sustainable public debt;
* a tax policy that encourages domestic savings for investment in increased production and more equitable wealth distribution. A centerpiece of this policy will be the creation of a large middle-income group in the country that will rapidly constitute a large market, which in turn will fuel further private-sector investment.

We shall facilitate access by Kenyans to the factors of production, including land, capital and technology, all of which are essential for the upward social mobility of the people.In doing so, we shall pay particular attention to the need of women to access the factors of production, introducing legislation that will ensure women equal rights with men in this regard, and consolidating and expanding women's access to credit facilities, business advisory services and training. We shall work to remove the socio-cultural, policy and legislative frameworks that perpetuate the marginalisation of women and girls in our society.My government will pay special attention to creating opportunities within rural areas, where the majority of Kenyans live. We shall provide support and training to farmers, fishermen and pastoralist communities. We shall also pursue a policy of investing in facilities that add value to locally available produce.We shall launch our version of the Marshall Plan – the recovery programme introduced in Europe after World War II – in historically marginalised regions of the country, in order to fast-track development in education, health, social services, infrastructure and facilities for livestock processing and marketing.We propose increasing provision for the Constituency Development Fund from 2.5 per cent of the national budget to 10 per cent – the Kibaki government having refused to increase it to 7.5 per cent, despite parliamentary approval. The emphasis will be on placing more resources in the hands of communities, where funds will be used directly to meet the needs of the local people and enhance the production of wealth where the majority of people live.Food is a basic need but, because of huge and widespread poverty and unemployment, people are still starving, even when National Cereals & Produce Board silos are full – because they have no money to buy the food. My government will pursue a policy that will ensure there is sufficient food available to rural and urban poor at affordable prices.Shelter is another basic need, but all we have is a proliferation of unplanned and ill-developed settlements all over the country, with an unacceptably large population of our people living in makeshift shelters. My government will correct this situation by developing and implementing a sound physical planning policy, to be followed by the development of appropriate and affordable and secure shelter for the people.Social security is a fundamental human right, and it is the responsibility of the government to provide it, in order to protect the people from destitution and other vagaries of life. My government will ensure the establishment of an effective social protection policy framework under three pillars: 1. a universal social welfare insurance scheme; 2. employer-driven contributory pension schemes;and (iii) private savings, insurance policies and co-operatives.With regard to factors of production, my government will develop a progressive and clearly articulated land policy, based on a set of simplified, rationalised and consolidated laws and regulations. This is a critical requirement for sustained economic recovery.We shall promote Kenyans to engineer growth and development in the private sector, at the same time attracting foreign direct investment by creating favourable conditions for that investment, including tax holidays – and most importantly by removing the bureaucratic red tape that currently dogs potential investors and helps prevent the creation of wealth.We shall remove the punitive taxation that is killing domestic industries, as well as putting structures in place to remove the possibility of extortion, particularly that regularly practised by Kenya Revenue Authority personnel when they visit companies and other enterprises.To protect all our investments, we shall dedicate increased resources for training, equipment, housing, pay, life and health insurance, and retirement benefits for our law-enforcement personnel. But we shall tackle not only the apprehension of criminals but also the prevention of those human conditions that become the seedbed of criminal activity, first among them poverty, and second ignorance.We shall develop a curriculum for our schools that answers the moral, social, cultural and economic needs of our country.We shall employ more teachers and provide them with better training and remuneration, with the objective of achieving within five years a teacher/student ratio of one to 35.We shall provide continuous, compulsory education from primary to secondary in all schools, and ensure standardised physical facilities and equipment in all public education institutions.We shall enhance the establishment of post-secondary vocational training institutions for artisanry and middle-level managerial training.We shall also restructure the ownership and management of village polytechnics to provide more effective training, and we will ensure that there is a public university in each province.Delivering universal healthcare of an acceptable standard is an urgent priority. The clinics that dotted our estates and countryside soon after independence were well equipped and efficient, and offered a meaningful service to patients. All that has been lost. We shall expand and improve primary and secondary healthcare facilities, as well as implementing a comprehensive national social health insurance scheme.My presidency will be one of practical ideas and ideals. It will be ambitious in achieving its economic and social goals.To help fund the far-reaching programmes we shall put in place, we plan to broaden the tax base, which will at the same time allow us to reduce the individual tax burden, particularly for certain overtaxed groups in society, such as civil servants, who will benefit from a significant tax reduction under my administration.More power will be devolved to communities – the power to shape the future of the environments in which people live their daily lives, widening the spread of public services and promoting social development.And we will care for our country. We will face head-on the huge environmental challenges confronting us. We will recognise that youth are the future, and we will tend our youth as they grow to maturity, knowing that, in doing so, our nation's future is secured.To help achieve that future, we shall position Kenya on a path to the centre of the burgeoning Pan-African trading bloc, so that our nation becomes a key player in African political and economic development.The moral ethic that drove public servants to provide a quality public service has been cast aside, because of our people's confusion as they have watched their leaders loot and pillage our economy for personal gain. Corruption has “become a god”, in the words of the Nigerian poet Ben Okri. Unfortunately, we have to face the fact that it is now a false god worshipped by people from the top of our society to the bottom.I will use all the powers of my office and energy to shatter this false god. I will help cultivate and promote a new national morality , a sound work ethic, a pride reborn in what it means to be a citizen of this country and a new sense of hope. For without hope, we cannot prosper as a people .And to ensure that the public gets what it deserves from our public servants, I shall establish a Citizen's Charter, which will guarantee the standards of service that public officials must offer all Kenyans. The services I have in mind include the issuing of business licences, national ID cards, voting cards and passports. The Charter will detail how the public may seek redress against officials who offer services that fall short of the standard required. Such officials will be held accountable.Accountability is the watchword. It's an old one, but it is a concept never more necessary than today, when corruption and tribalism have torn large holes in our national fabric.The Narc coalition came together in 2002 to put an end to tribalism. Kenyans from all tribes and all ethnic groups voted for Narc and for Kibaki, who received a clear mandate to end this vice.But the government, including the president, has let Kenyans down badly. Those who have acted in ways that have entrenched tribalism even deeper in the past four years are not going to do anything about it. In fact, they are the ones shouting at the top of their voices and calling other people tribalists. But Kenyans know who the true tribalists are.Tribalism is today tearing this country apart. It is at its highest point since Independence. Why is this happening, when the country voted together to end tribalism only four years ago?The answer is simple: it is because the most powerful institutions in the country, namely the Office of the President and State House, have become dens of tribalism. We cannot fight tribalism in Kenya unless and until these two key institutions are detribalised. Key Office of the President and State House staff, as long as we need them under our current Constitution, must reflect the face of the country.Under my government, that will be the case. Staffing at the two offices will reflect our national diversity, and I challenge anyone to hold me accountable.In addition, all informal government structures that allow family members, personal friends and moneybags more access and control at State House than elected officials – more even than cabinet ministers – will go. Kenyans will have only one government – the one they elected. The informal structures that currently exist are rooted in tribal alliances and cronyism, and our history tells us that these have been the real engines running our past and current government.These are the forces that keep giving us such scams such as Goldenberg and Anglo Leasing. They are the forces that give birth to quagmires such as the Arturs saga. They are forces that operate above the law of the land and make a mockery of hard-working Kenyans. We will make this their last year of existence.Cabinet ministers have also turned their ministries into tribal employment agencies, and have made tribal enclaves of this nation's financial institutions.In my government, key personnel in the Kenya Revenue Authority, the Central Bank, the ministry of finance and so on will reflect the face of the country. Institutions will not be packed with my tribesmen and friends. The governing principles in making appointments will be merit, accountability and diversity.There will be a proper vetting system to ensure that all public service appointments are based not only on merit but also reflect the ethnic, gender and age diversities of Kenya. Appointment lists will be published annually. Affirmative action will be one of my government's guiding stars.And securing all this will be defence of our nation, where we shall be sensitive but strong, focused, decisive and committed. Clear priorities will no longer allow us to waste billions of shillings buying outdated military equipment that we don't need, and whose purchase is simply another means of fleecing the country of public funds.We shall continue to maintain robust armed forces but will trim military expenditure to realistic levels, and invest the resources saved in real and effective law-enforcement programmes to protect our borders. Among our priorities will be anti-terrorism efforts, along with properly structured and effective security at our airports (we want no more Artur incidents in future!) and truly secure port facilities and inland depots.What I have laid before for you today relates to my realistic Dream of what Kenya could be. I have laid out objectives, not prescriptive economic programmes. I am not an economist and I will not pretend to you that I am.Those would-be leaders who purport to be economic specialists are taking you for a ride – and we have had too many people doing that in this country for more than four decades,Throughout those four decades, mandarins have been appointed to public positions they are not qualified to hold. They have used their undeserved power to take us ever further from the Dream of our forefathers.That is what I intend to end. I intend to move this country forward , and away from the imperial presidency mentality.Our nation now needs someone who has demonstrated the will to finish forever the culture of greed and selfishness.I have that will. I have that history. I have that intention. I am able.What I can promise I will do for you is appoint people to take charge of our economy whose superb skills make them absolutely the best in their field. It will not matter who their fathers were or who they know. They will be people who are committed to, and who can realise, my Dream of a Kenya founded on the notion of all our citizens having an equal chance in life.I intend to take this nation to Second World status by the year 2020 – not 2030. We shall make this happen in our own lifetime. We can do it because ODM-Kenya has brought together quality Kenyans – not just in the leadership but also among the many people working behind the scenes, who are deeply committed to the party and its ideals, and to our beloved country. We shall make a very effective team.And it is a team spirit that will inform and guide all our decisions. When I am elected president, I shall consider myself merely the first among equals. I will run my presidency on the basis of extensive consultations prior to decision-making.As we meet today, we are at a crossroads. We have worked hard to get this far. Now the next decision we make will determine what will become of us.The signposts are there, but sometimes the fog, especially the fog of propaganda, makes the signposts indistinct. In deciding which way to go, we must therefore take great care.The road straight ahead leads only to a dead end. While a few people speed forward on the tarmac, the rest of us are left floundering at the roadside in a boggy swamp that engulfs us and holds us fast, leaving us no way of escape, and drowning our hopes of a better life.But the road down which I guide you is the right one for this nation. The road crosses a bridge of sturdy steel that will not bend or break, no matter how often it is lashed by storms or blown by the four winds. The bridge remains strong and steadfast, spanning the turbulent waters beneath, providing safe passage to the other side.Our nation needs this bridge, to carry us from the honest efforts of our forefathers, struggling for independence, through the contest for multi-partyism, on to the work of the referendum, and now beyond all that to the future.I am that bridge – the bridge that links the historic moments of our past to the golden tomorrows of our future.

Kenyans! I call on you!
If, today, you feel the same passion I feel for our country;If you want the same things I want, the same things I have fought for all my life;Kenyans!If you share my Dream, if you share my hope, if you share my will, if you share my determination;If you want us, as a nation, to grow into what our forefathers dreamed of;Kenyans!If you love your families and you want the best for them;If you yourself have a Dream of being the best YOU can be – we can win.We can win the ultimate prize of freedom-from-want, and of economic self-determination and self-respect, for every citizen in this country.Some people see things happen, and they ask, ‘Why?' I dream of a united, developed and democratic Kenya, and I ask, ‘Why not?'Join me! Join me as we return to our forefathers' visionary path towards the Kenyan Dream, as we cast off and leave behind us four decades of political darkness.If you make the right decision (and I know you will) , we can at last go forward, together, to realise the Dream for our nation.To paraphrase Nelson Mandela, I dream of a Kenya which is at peace with itself; a country free of hatred. As Martin Luther King, Jr. said, hatred paralyses life while love releases it. Hatred confuses life; while love harmonizes it. Hatred darkens life; while love illuminates it.I preach love, commitment and equality for our country.Fellow citizens, join me on this journey for peace and prosperity! We have climbed many hills together.I can see the hill ahead and I know we will conquer it together!

Thank you. God Bless you, and God Bless Kenya.

*Hon. Raila Odinga, ODM-K's Presidential Candidate"

Ska Rules - Coming soon

2007-04-09T06:50:00.000-07:00

Too much work to do, is the excuse for this section not being up yet. But it is coming...

Part 1 of Nothing: And they called it...Ska

2007-03-22T05:55:00.000-07:00

"Music here is the lifeblood of the people," said Jimmy Cliff, on the importance of music to Jamaicans, "it's like oil is to Saudi Arabia." "No one would ever have thought that a small island like Jamaica could have created music that is now part of the worldwide mainstream" added Edward Seaga, once prime minister of Jamaica.

They were being interviewed for the series "The story of Jamaican music", a seminal BBC presentation so good that there is little to add to it. "The music...it's something like gravity, like a magnet," added Burning Spear, "it insists to hold onto you!".

The story becomes familiar to the outside world on August 5th, 1962, when Britain's princess Margaret was present to witness Jamaica's independence celebrations. The music that played to end over 300 years of British rule in Jamaica was nothing like the borrowed tunes that had, until then filtered in from Florida to entertain Jamaica's upper-class families and the wealthy elite of the island. It was a genuinely Jamaican sound, the-then newly-minted sound of the shanty towns.
"It was jubilation all around," says Freddie McGregor, "we were in a free country, and the new music was at its peak, and so everyone just went for it".
"Before 1962, you could not play this music at a party," remembers Byron Lee, "but after that night, you had to play this music for any party to be successful."

The music they are enthusing about started in the 1950's, in the poorer areas of Kingston. It was a consequence of the emergence of the uniquely Jamaican concept of the "sound system". This was an amalgam of sorts, a kind of feel-good outdoor party with no entrance fees or restrictions, quite impromptu and essentially a street disco. It took over from the ruins of the jazz clubs that went out of business with the falling of the sugar economy on the island, and nothing could quite beat the all-are-welcome nature of the sound system.

Savvy entrepreneurs quickly latched onto the sound system as a way of making money. They would set up massive speakers tuned to non-stop Florida radio stations, put out some beer for sale, and sit back to watch the cash roll in as patrons dropped by to listen to the Blues wafting in from across the ocean. Competition quickly grew, and soon merely tuning to distant radio stations was not good enough. One had to have the best music in their sound system. And with the American sugar industry in need of cheap labour, a profitable exchange soon started: cane cutters from Jamaica used their earnings to buy the best Blues records from the States, and sold them for up to six times the original cost back in Jamaica.

And so it was that, from the many sound systems serenading the streets of Kingston at dusk, there emerged two giants to run the Jamaican music scene for the next 15 years: Duke Reid, and Coxstone Dodd. Their story would be the story of the music they promoted, changed, and released. It was a new sound to the world, but in Jamaica, they had known it for the 10 years before independence, and a little longer in the shanty towns.
They called it Ska.

Next Week: Changing steps: Ska rules.

WHY we are poor - Part 2 of 2

2007-03-09T05:00:00.000-08:00

"We are quite convinced that if independence is going to mean anything, it must bring with it tangible, material improvement for all our people" said Tom Mboya, addressing the Royal African Society in London, October 3rd, 1963.

Measured against this unequivocal aim, we have failed without mitigation. A recitation of the dismal statistics that comprise our development resume might be spectacular but utterly familiar: anyone even remotely aware of the African experience and the story of the African republic can do a good job at guessing what such a report would contain: misery heaped upon piles of bad governance and poverty spread thickly on the whole unsightly mess.

Primary among the indications of failure has been the overt manifestation of various forms of favouritism in Kenya's government: the trend has been for the president (and, therefore, the ruling tribe from which the president is drawn) to attempt to monopolise resources for his area / ethnic group of origin, with the associated trickling of tribalism into the civil service and armed forces. The evidence for this is abundant and clear - for the administrations of both Moi and Kibaki.

The common - and lazy - approach to attempting to explain why some regions in Kenya fare much worse than others, is to attribute it to various ethnic characteristics: 'backward' cultures, not valuing commerce, and the like. But could there be something to this? Is it possible that, in fact, 'progressive' cultural outlooks - the ability to adapt fast and change one's values as the situation demands - is at the heart of commercial progress (and the consequent economic advancement)?

If the cultural argument is to hold ground, one must look at both sides: find ethnic groups that have held onto 'outdated' cultures and are consequently poor, and those (within the same social-cultural continuum) that have 'adapted' to changing times and benefited economically.
Kisumu town offers an interesting study in both cases.

Kisumu is home to the Luo - obviously - and also home to a significant community of Asians. These two communities have lived side by side from when the East African Railway first reached Kisumu in 1904.
Interestingly, both communities have kept to the cultural groundings, with little - if any - cultural contact between them. There has been little intermarriage, as with Asians in other parts of Kenya. The Asians and the Luo have, in other words, kept to their respective cultural arrangements.
One would, therefore, expect that if culture were the largest contributer to economic fortunes, the two communities would fare similarly - allowing for small disparities in education and social status. But this has not been the case - while the Asians have prospered in Kisumu, the Luo have stagnated, and then retrogressed. So, is it more than just the culture?

One distinguishing factor between the two communities is politics: until Shakeel Shabir was elected Mayor of Kisumu, the Asian community in the town had kept largely out of the political circle, preferring to remain in business and having little or nothing to do with the running of the town. In contrast, the Luo - as should be expected of the dominant grouping in an area - have run the political affairs of the Nyanza region, including Kisumu, since independence. And it is in this respect that the Asians' attitude towards politics - to leave it alone almost completely and concentrate on business - begins to make economic sense.

Kenya has a strongly central model of governance, in which resources are gathered by - and to - the central government, then disbursed back to regional authorities for service provision. As a result, the government of the day - which is composed of politicians drawn from the victorious party at the general elections - determines which region is to get how much money, for what functions.

This is where Nyanza and other regions have had it rough: ever since the Kenyatta years, Nyanza, Western, North Eastern and Coast provinces have had mixed results interacting with the administration of the day. Even before the assassination of Tom Mboya, politicians of Luo origin did not have very good relations with the government of the day: Oginga Odinga openly criticised Jomo Kenyatta for concentrating government resources in Central province and the Kikuyu diaspora, while sparing little, if any, for the rest of the country. In 1966, Odinga resigned as vice president in protest at the administration's policies, which he deemed discriminative and ultimately counter-productive.

In Western province, Masinde Muliro and Martin Shikuku - the most prominent leaders from the province at the time - fared poorly with the Kenyatta (and, later, the Moi) government. Their fortunes did not improve when Moi came to power in 1978: he detained both leaders (in addition to Odinga and a number of coastal / muslim notables) several times for their opposition to his rule.

The falling out of the leaders of these provinces with the government of the day was accompanied by open discrimination against the provinces by the governments concerned. Thus, Nyanza was openly neglected by the Kenyatta regime, and Moi continued the principle when he became president. Despite being right next to Lake Victoria, for example, Kisumu has little fresh water in its taps: the central government has repeatedly declined to allocate money to the council for upgrading of the water pumps.

Economic isolation and destruction followed: the main crops in the areas concerned were the subject of deliberately negative government policy. Cotton, for long Nyanza's main cash crop, was effectively grounded when the government enacted legislation permitting the duty-free importation of used garments in the early 90's. Sugar - the main cash crop in Western and Coast provinces in the early 80's - was brought to its knees by the importation of duty-free sugar by Moi's ministers, and the sector is yet to recover. And coffee - a mainstay of economic production in Central Kenya - was adversely affected when Moi's government sought to stuff the KPCU (its main marketing body in Kenya) with political appointees from Moi's region who seemed to want to run the organization into the ground.

The trend of economic marginalisation has continued. Kibaki's administration has gone about it in a slightly different way: they have simply ignored the rest of the country, and concentrated instead on beefing up the economic profile of Central Province. The recent UNDP report on poverty in Kenya highlights this trend and recommends a shift in approach.

One can thus effectively trace the fortunes of various regions in Kenya to their political positions: it is therefore no coincidence that the region from which a president hails, does very well compared to other regions. All of Kenya's administrations have tended to allocate provincial development resources on the basis of perceived political support: as a result, for example, Moses Mudavadi's Vihiga region fared quite well under Moi, as compared to the Bungoma region (which was associated with various anti-Moi elements). Similarly, Nyanza has done poorly because it has consistently opposed the administration of the day, right from the Kenyatta regime todate. But even within Nyanza, there are pockets that are supportive of this hypothesis: for example, Rarieda (which is the constituency of the pro-Kibaki MP, Raphael Tuju) has done much better than the surrounding regions, with which it otherwise shares an ethnic and cultural heritage.

So then, is unquestioning pro-government politics the answer to the problem of underdevelopment in Kenya's backward provinces? Should they all toe the government line and hope for a more favourable attitude from the powers of the day?

This would be a shortsighted and ultimately defeatist approach. Governments change, and when they do, it can be difficult for communities to change their support as a whole to back the new outfit. And government support is not always tied merely to politics: it is sometimes tied to economic resources, since backing a government can come with unacceptable economic demands. In Maasailand, for example, the government moved the management of Masai Mara to a politically-accommodating authority, after the former managing authority appeared to be nonchalant in its support for Kibaki's policies.

The real culprit in this scenario might not even be the governments in question (who merely did what comes naturally and did not bother to think beyond their tribes), but the legal arrangement that makes this possible: the constitution. The current constitution makes the president the be-all of Kenyan authorities, and the massive powers of that office have been the subject of many excellent analyses and recommendations for review.

It is instructive that the falling out between Raila Odinga and the Kibaki government was occasioned by the failure of Kibaki to honour the pre-election pact of the NARC coalition, which included (among other favourable provisions) the splitting of the powers of the presidency to provide a check against abuse.

Ultimately, the blame for poverty lies with the legal dispensation under which Kenya is governed: by allowing unchecked and unquestioned executive powers for the presidency, the current constitution opens the door to abuse of power. When the centre is all-powerful and is the main determinant of allocation of funds for developmental purposes, such a constitution also encourages corruption and the sprouting of patronage networks, as the ruling elite attempt to stay in power at any cost. This is why so many opposed to the current government want a constitutional change, and why so many supporters of the government would rather matters stayed as they are: changing the law of the land to a better, more accountable document means ripping up the vast corruption arrangements now in place. And this is just not acceptable: even government employees are being threatened and warned against supporting constitutional change!

It is therefore not surprising that we are poor, for even the relative wealth of Rift Valley and Central provinces is but a trifling: the entire country is so poor that those less poor than others appear to be positively wealthy.

Unfortunately, there seems to be little in the way of positive policy promises from the current crop of candidates for the elections this year, save for one or two. Ultimately, we will need to settle for a different class of politician, maybe a different class of leadership altogether, if we are to soberly address the crippling poverty under which we all live -and which affects virtually everyone in the country. We need to fix the constitution as a starting point, before embarking on restoring the regional balance that a fair allocation of resources would produce.

Katiba mbaya, maisha mabaya. Katiba nzuri...

Ryan Giggs: 700 Not Out

2007-03-02T07:26:00.000-08:00

"Sometimes we use the word 'great' too often", said former United Captain (and now Birmingham City Manager) Steve Bruce, "but if you are putting a team of 20 together, and you're looking for a left-sided player, you aren't going to get any better anywhere in the world."
Huge accolades for a player who is now 33 years old - and has never plied his trade for another team. Tomorrow, Ryan Giggs almost certainly makes his 700th appearance for Manchester United - exactly 16 years and one from the day he made his debut. It is has been quite a journey, too!

The league significance of the match aside - United would go 12 points clear of Chelsea with a win against Liverpool - it is testament to Giggs' enduring ability that, at 33, he still has no rival for the leftwing position at United. He has seen off all manner of rivals, and the manager has signed an entire list of pretenders to the throne - but no one has come close to the pace, sheer wizardry and dedication that the Welsh Wonder brings to the United cause. It has been an astonishing 16 years -especially in this age when footballers come and go like days of the week. Finding a true one-team player - in the moulds of Scholes, Neville and of course Giggs - is rare. Finding one with this level of skill is impossible.

And what a match in which to make your 700th appearance (will he be captain for the match? I would expect nothing less!): Liverpool are on the up after fantastic results in the last few weeks, while United can practically smell the title (which is never won in March, but who knows?). Arsenal are out of the picture for this title race, but United have one eye firmly fixed on their lead against Chelsea - whose charge is being sustained by the African Footballer of the Year, the Big Drog.

For Giggs, it will be a case of memories on the Merseyside: when he came on as a substitute for Dennis Irwin 16 years ago, it was away to Everton, and United were hammered 2-0. A repeat of that performancewould dent the celebrations that surely should follow for Giggsy's innings: 700 not out is not a statistic to be sneezed at. We doff ours to the Welsh Wonder - and drink to a victory at the Merseyside!

On Politics and Poverty - Part 1

2007-02-28T04:45:00.000-08:00

Why are we poor? More precisely, where is it that, even though we are uniformly poor, some sections of the country are - resources notwithstanding - much poorer than others? The statistics being trotted out by government sound encouraging - increased enrollment in primary schools, increased economic growth (5.8%, they say), increased access to health facilities, the works. So, how come poverty has actually increased over the same period in which we are witnessing economic growth?

More generally, why do some regions lag behind others in economic growth and development? The recent UN report indicates that, far from affording us increased economic comfort, the much-touted "economic growth" we have experienced under Kibaki has, paradoxically, led to increases in poverty in most regions of the country, save for Central province and adjoining regions. "Nineteen of the 23 richest districts", claims the report, "are in Central Province".

So how to square the two? The report, of course, goes further than just the attention-grabbing comparison of districts: it delivers a damning condemnation of the current administration's feeble efforts to get development to the people. And insecurity, a perennial problem ever since Michuki became the minister in charge, continues to be a huge headache.

So, back to the question: why the poverty? Are we truly unable to pull ourselves out of the pits? And, since we are on the question anyway, maybe we could overlook the small differences between tribes and look at the country, the continent as a whole: will we ever outgrow poverty? Is it the leaders we have that consign us to being poor for the foreseeable future? Or is there another reason why we are the only continent to have seen an increase in poverty over the last 25 years?

One psychologist reckons it is because we are not clever enough to manage our resources and grow wealth: Satoshi Kanazawa thinks we are poor because we are stupid.
Others think it is due to a colonial hangover - as lame an excuse as one is likely to find, especially if one uses the old "Kenya 1969 vs South Korea 1969, Kenya today vs South Korea today" paradigm.

One has to admit that our chronic inability to better the lives of our people opens us to ridicule and allows people to question the integrity and capability of the African intellect: it will not escape many that the poorest regions in the Western hemisphere are those peopled by the descendants of Africans.

Are we capable of facing up to the answers that these questions might throw up? Are we ready to admit that what we might have assumed all along, may not be true, after all? Could it be that, thanks to our cultural basis, we are poorly equipped to manage economies? Might it in fact be that the fortunes of a nation depend on the average intelligence of its peoples (which seems obvious), and knowing that starving children don't grow up into bright adults - could we conclude that our poor nutrition is ensuring that we get not-very-bright leaders, and hence our misfortunes?

Or is tribalism to blame? It is difficult not to see the advantages that leadership of a country brings to a region: the two richest provinces in Kenya are the ones that have produced presidents: Central and Rift Valley. Coincidence?

To be continued...

Sleeping on the job...at Nation Centre!

2007-02-18T07:43:00.000-08:00

We could not skip out on this!

Managers at Nation Centre in Nairobi are, apparently, unable to keep their zippers and skirts up. The internet is rife with stories of zipper-happy male bosses screwing their pretty subordinates, and of bossy female managers getting laid by eager, promotion-starved young male staff. If you haven't read the stories, here goes!

The latest story is an email that actually names the people allegedly involved - including Wagethi Mwangi - Group Editorial Director, Joseph Odindo - Group Managing Editor (both of whom are said to have banged a lass called Adhiambo Odera, who must be quite something!), Helen Mbugua (HR Director, allegedly letting a Mr David Waweru have carnal knowledge of her on a regular basis in spite of her being married to someone else), Mr Cyrille Nabutola (Group Marketing Director, allegedly known by the moniker "The Bull of Nation Centre") - the list goes on.

I ventured to write to one of the accused, venturing as below:

From: Osiris!

Sent: 1626 February 10 2007

To: yyyyyyyy

Subject: On Moral High Grounds and skeletons in closets

As you write on taking the moral high ground - is it not about time you guys at Nation put a stop to these emails - and, if they have any truth in them - their allegations of what goes on behind the media house's doors when the rest of us are not looking? It is none of our business if grown ups choose to bang each other, of course, but must the world be informed? You could say I should delete the message. But who would resist such salacious slander?
Maybe the only gratifying piece of information in this is that the correspondents that command the most respect from me personally - Philip Ochieng and Onyango-Obbo - are left out it.

To which she replied:

To: Osiris!

date Feb 16, 2007 1:45 PM

subject RE: On Moral High Grounds and skeletons in closets

mailed-by nation.co.ke

You are the third person in two days to say this to me. All I can say is that someone somewhere is working on the agenda. In the meantime, the world will have to go on believing that we moral high grounders are going at it like rabbits.... You can only wonder that there's still time and energy left to attend news conferences, write the stories, do the op-eds and get the paper out into the streets!

===========

Which sort of confirms that the stories have indeed been read in the House on the Hill - Nation Centre - and something is being done - "someone somewhere is working on the agenda".

But one can imagine that a few households are on the verge of breaking up for good after such salacious stuff. It is with regret that I must admit I was unable to find a picture of Adhiambo Odera to put alongside the story!

Ancient cultures had a thing for sexual imagery and phallic symbols: it is said that worship of the erect penis was a preoccupation of many of them, and a large number of the prehistoric monuments we now treasure - from the phallic shadows cast by the megaliths at Stonehenge to the design of the African spear - were all inspired by good old penis-worship. Which kind of sheds a new light on the massive, erect mast that dominates Nation Centre - primeval insticts getting manifested in the building's design, and being acted out in the building itself, perhaps?

The dudes at Nation do put a whole new spin to this whole "sleeping on the job" business, eh?

Kenya skittle Scotland in Nairobi

2007-02-07T05:57:00.000-08:00

I know it is bad manners - not to mention an invite to bad luck, so may the gods forgive me - to blog two days in a row. But some things just have to be blogged about.

Let's begin with a short background: Kenya's cricketers have been involved in a number of matches meant to give them practice just before the world cup in a few weeks' time. The latest of these was the ICC Cricket League in Nairobi.

Kenya, after variously impressing in the round-robin stages of the competition, got to the final against Scotland - who had whipped Kenya by a bucketful of runs a bit earlier on in the tournament. But the final was not to be Scotland's day.

With the trophy on display at the Nairobi Gymkhana, Scotland won the toss and opted to bat. They roared on smoothly until, at 59-1, Steve Tikolo had had enough.
A swift change of strategy followed, and the hapless skirt-wearers lost 5 wickets for just 7 additional runs!

But that was just the beginning. Scotland were eventually sent back to the stands for a measly 155 all out in 47 overs, and Kenya then got the chance to weave their attacking magic.
David Obuya stepped up to hit 93, with Steve Tikolo and Maurice Ouma adding some spice to the broth. It was all over in a jiffy for the Scots, though, when Tikolo brought things to a ruthless end with three fours.

Tournament over, trophy stays home, and see you in the Caribbean, Bhoys!

How NOT to partake of the beverage of assamica

2007-02-06T05:08:00.000-08:00

The tea ceremony requires years of training and practice . . . yet the whole of this art, as to its detail, signifies no more than the making and serving of a cup of tea. The supremely important matter is that the act be performed in the most perfect, most polite, most graceful, most charming manner possible.

So wrote Lafcadio Hearn, an adopted son of Japan, when discussing the famous Japanese tea ceremony, chadō, in which all manner of pseudo-religious significance is attached to the preparation of tea. But it is in the consumption of this beverage that, in my opinion, humanity gets to expose its collective crudity.

One habit, in particular, is especially grating. Slurping tea should be made a capital offence! You are sitting down to a particularly promising conversation with a friend, and the mood is just right to come to an amicable solution to world hunger - the brainwaves are bursting with ideas, and you feel overburdened with intelligence. Hell, you even plan to venture forth opinions on fixing global warming, maybe by draining some water into space (serious!) to deal with the problem of rising sea levels (space is a vacuum, right? So, theoretically, a long, strong pipe stuck into the ocean - maybe at Mindanao trench - with one end protruding into space should suck water out of the ocean into space...), and maybe a well thought-out strategy to ensure that Kenya wins the upcoming Cricket World Cup.

Then your conversation partner starts slurping his tea! Slurping is akin to sticking a pipe into space to drain the Indian Ocean, but then leaving the pipe 100m above the ocean's level. The sound of the vacuum sucking in the water from the ocean, in millions of individual gusts each going "whrrrrrruuuuupppp!" would be a good approximation of the nauseating sounds made by a tea slurper. It grates on the ears, sends the appetite to hell, and leaves you with visions of a small storm happening right inside the slurper's mouth as the tea hits the lips, is brutally sucked into the anxiously waiting mouth, is swirled round and round by the voracious tongue and, finally - with a great, sickening sound not very different from a particularly bad dump - is swallowed with gratification.

Atrocious.

Milk seems to make tea thicker and slower. It also makes tea stickier. And so the effect of someone - usually an adult - slurping their tea is amplified and made all the more gruesome by the sight of the tea slowly making its way past their (usually mustachioed) upper lip. You just get the feeling, I am sure, that brown teeth are a natural addition to this scenario - as they usually are.

If you must slurp tea, do it in the kitchen. Alone.

Bye Bye Winter

2007-01-28T20:22:00.000-08:00

So, the Riyadh Winter is on its way out, and what passes for summer is on its brutal way in. How bad it can get is astonishing: two days ago we were having to cope with early morning temperatures around the 3 celcius mark, and suddenly we now are looking at daytime mercury readings hitting 30. And we are not even in summer "proper"!

With the onset of summer come some interesting happenings, as well, in the world of (horrors!) sports: the Australian Open just ended, with Roger Federer crashing Gonzalez in the men's final. But it was the women's final that had everyone on edge of their seats, with Serena taking out Sharapova in a breathtakingly ruthless 2 sets, over just about 63 minutes, and confounding some so-called critics of her game.

What still galls, though, is the refusal by most sports commentators to acknowledge that Serena plays beautiful tennis. They continually declare that Williams won thanks to "a ruthless exhibition of power-hitting", failing to see all the clever chips and well-placed forehand returns. But it is not a perfect world, is it?

The Six Nations is also coming up - in fact, it begins this very coming Saturday, and there is little to bank on, save for the fact that England will certainly not win the tournament. Despite that, the English still have hope, what with Johnny Wilkinson looking to be on the mend - the Sun is even crowing that he will make the squad, clearly in the vain hope that he repeats the heroics of 2003. Some countries never know when to give in and look for fresh talismans, eh?

And then there is the Cricket World Cup! Of course the memories of 2003 (no irony here!) are fresh in our minds, and we will be hoping that Tikolo's boys do us proud again. We are grouped with Canada and England (both of whom we should dispatch, er, with ease, he he!) and New Zealand. This time, we could even get to the final!

All these sporting events mean that I will be able to stay indoors for most of Riyadh's brutal summer - and also, that the price to pay for the end of winter is, therefore, not that bad. Huh?

Jienjoy!

Pothole Hell

2007-01-11T06:03:00.000-08:00

The pathetic state of roads back home is pretty much well-documented: it is left to road users to find anecdotal models to fit their variously harrowing experiences into the pathetic status of the rutted, potholed tracks that pass for roads back home.

Even then, though, it takes a special soul to brave Kenya's roads for any distance: I was foolhardy enough to drive all the way from Nairobi to Webuye. The road is quite good (by Kenyan standards, which are obviously set rather low) from Nairobi to Gilgil, after which you run into the real wildlife in Kenya: the deadly combination of non-existent roads, crazy drivers and unserviced, generally unroadworthy vehicles. This goes on for a while - till, in fact, one gets to Nakuru, whereupon the savvy driver will branch right to take the Kabarak road, neatly bypassing the moonscape that is the Nakuru-Eldoret "highway". Phew!

Home was good, though. I dropped in to visit the grandparents - hadn't seen them in a while. And the foggy road through Keiyo really does give way to the most fantastic view you will see in a while. It sort of makes up for the hell one has to wend one's way through on the road - which is getting worse, since even the matatus have taken to using this road to avoid the hell that is the Nakuru-Eldoret road.

On the way back, I had to chill out in Doha for some 4 hours. Some function was going on in town - virtually all good hotels were booked to the plimsolls, and we had to (horrors!) share hotel rooms with total strangers. I got cooped up with some Russian woman, who says she was going to Bahrain to work as a prostitute. Enough said.

Now, though, it's back to Riyadh and work - for another few months, at least.
Wewe, jienjoy!

Holiday Update...

2006-12-23T04:05:00.000-08:00

Ni Krismasi! Never mind the stories - true, most likely - that Yeshua was not born on December 25th, forget the fact that the festival seems to be a celebration of the birth of Nimrod, and ignore the ugly red ink that the day bestows upon every person's credit card or bank account or other liquidity vehicles: this day is cool.
Me? Darn. I mistimed my vacation application, and will thus only be able to travel on December 25th - meaning I arrive in Kenya exactly 1 hour after Christmas ends. If that is not daft, then nothing is.

The magic of the day is astonishing - even despite the gross commercialization that has virtually taken the occasion over these days. I recall waking up one day a lifetime ago - this was christmas 1984, and I was 9, and everything about life was extremly good, and I didn't give a hoot what came and what went - I woke up on Christmas morning and just felt happy that the day was here at last. The new Kaunda suit helped immensely, of course - getting new clothes to wear to church on the big day was simply compulsory!

Then there was the church music. Forget that instrumentals were generally limited to percussions and clapping: the renditions of "Ni Usiku Mtukufu" were always poignantly suspended between happiness and an incredible choral sweetness.
But the crux of the celebration always was after the morning church service. The "visitors", as guests were generally called - and who usually happened to be relatives from somewhere, the neighbourhood kids playing in the traditional Christmas rain, what with no school the next day (which was generally reserved for sports) - life was easy, slow, and absolutely beautiful.

Then we grew up. Darn.
Have fun - nenda kajienjoy!

Could Not Log Into My Own Blog!

2006-12-21T07:09:00.000-08:00

There is too much choice available out there. Joel Spolsky has famously ranted about the many choices that face an average gadget user: the wisdom seems to be that the more choices a user has, the happier the user will be. Wrong.

Anyway: so I navigate to Blogger and want to post a few rants. But I choose the wrong option: the "Old Blogger" option (which seems to me the sensible choice, since I am an "old" blogger now, what with two - well, then it was one - posts up. Nope! Doesn't work. Thanks to Google Desktop, though, here we are.

Blog issues sorted out, my boss steps in with a new request. There is this dude we work with - he's a Paki. Now, that is no issue by and of itself, but this dude is another one. Really. Sample this: my vacation comes up in 3 days or so. So, Mr Lahore decides he has to muck it up for me. How does he go about it? He bangs up a few of the gadgets that I use daily. Result? I cant really hand over to my long-suffering replacement. And so the boss' new request can't be sorted out because, thanks to Mr Karachi, I do not have access to my gadgets. What's a guy to do? The new request is chilling on the check-in line, and I don't give a hoot. I am going home!

Eh, tuonane. Stay safe.

Log-in Script

2006-12-20T06:09:00.000-08:00

This is the initial blog posting, ever since the World Cup disappointed me with a win for Italy . I mean, who ever imagined these cheating blokes would even get to the final? Darn.

The highlight of that final of course, was the heroic header by Zizou - right into Materazzi's chest. You don't mess about with Africans.

This being my first experience of Blogger, I will take the liberty of posting virtually nothing else. Christmas is around the corner, I am going home to see Gracey and co (more on whom, later!), and nothing can come between me and a good time. The ruthless pursuit of fun awaits - at least for two weeks - no classes, great football, and Zanze! Plus oodles of time to devote to the delicious musings of Nairobi's own bandit (something weird about the link, though - like expiry of account or so. Atalipa, in the fullness of time!)
Eh - wewe, tuonane. Be back some time!